by SIANA LOVE in PERFORMANCE POETRY
“I am Beautiful,” took me a while to learn that.
when she was just a little girl
Her momma would say “my baby will be the prettiest of them all”
She would smile back and proudly play with her Barbie dolls
Not knowing that soon words will get the best of me
Insults would be the only thing this proud little girl will see
Girls wouldn’t wanna play, boys wouldn’t wanna stay
And All she would have during lunchtime is a sandwich of sadness and juice box of loneliness
This little girl had to eat alone
And soon enough she had to grow up on her own
As she grew older she was taught to hate her body
Magazines were placed on the top shelf, out of her reach
She struggled and tried but no matter how close she became she could never reach the expectations
She even threw away all of her Barbie dolls
never picked one up when she went to the mall
Maybe the little girl inside didn’t critically analyze
The flat belly, small thighs
And rest of the plastic covered lies
Society’s image of beauty was mocking her daily
Until she was ashamed to look in the mirror and actually like what she would see
TV shows and movies did its best to show that girls of her size couldn’t be loved
They were always the elephant in the room Hollywood is just too small-minded, I assume
After years of self-loathing and despising the way she looked in pictures
There came a time when she started noticing other “beautiful” figures
Pretty girls aren’t just the ones wearing size 2 jeans
There the one who speak up and follow their dreams
It’s not my fault if your small mentality doesn’t go past my thighs
I’m tired of trying to get these approval highs
then in the midst of pleasing everyone’s desires
She had to set her own goals on fire
Watching Society’s flames turn her ambition into ashes
Trading her passion and drive for longer eyelashes
she’s been told that her body is a temple
a holy grail that must be kept sacred
A princess to the most High
So why does she feel so low
And I’m not here to lie and say I got it together
Some days I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror
And other days I am the next upcoming model
But I’m here to tell you that that girl is done putting herself on the bookshelf
But she is still learning how to love herself
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