In the hustle and bustle of your daily grind, work dinners out, trying to balance a mix of reading Healthline and watching Criminal Minds reruns so you can actually sleep, following BeautyLeeBar on Twitter, and barely having time to drink your morning coffee in peace, sex doesn’t always feel like a priority. We don’t know how it happened, how watching one more episode on Netflix became more important than being with our partner under the sheets.
And when you do have sex, yeah, we’ve been there. It’s not nearly as fun as it used to be. But there are so many ways to easily change up your routine and make your sex life even better than it was when you first started. Here’s to having better sex tonight — you’re welcome.
1. Try Kegel exercises
If you’ve never heard of Kegels, you are so missing out. Kegels exercise the pelvic floor muscles, which can lead to more intense orgasms, stronger libido, and overall better sex. Finding your pelvic floor muscles by stopping urination midstream. Right there — those are the muscles we’re targeting! There are many different exercises, but the easiest (and least awkward) is to simply tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold it for five to ten seconds, let it go, and then repeat five times. Do these every day, and in a few weeks, you’ll start to notice all of its amazing benefits.
2. Research and try something new
Do you have fantasies or sexual interests you’ve never discussed before? Now’s your time. Start by researching and deciding if this really is right for you, and then go ahead and ask your partner about it. Here’s how you can talk to your partner about trying something new in the bedroom.
3. Set the mood
There’s something so romantic about a dimly lit room with candles, bed made (even if it’ll be ruined soon!), and soft music playing. It sounds dumb, but it helps our bodies get even more relaxed. I’m going to say this a lot, so just remember: when you’re relaxed and in the moment, sex is bound to be a million times better.
4. Do yoga
Or any workout that makes you feel sexy and relaxed. For me, that’s yoga, but for you, it might be HIIT, running, or pilates. Do something every day that makes you feel good, so you can channel that when you get in the bedroom. Working out can also help you feel more confident about yourself, which in turn will make it easier for you to enjoy sex!
Exercise and physical activity can improve your sex life in many different ways. First of all, exercising increases your body’s levels of sex hormones and endorphins, boosting your mood and sexual drive.
Sex and health are inextricably linked: being healthy will increase your stamina, which is very important for a satisfying sex life.
Eating foods packed with minerals, amino acids, antioxidants, and nutrients can benefit your overall health and boost your mood, so it’s no wonder that the right foods can raise your libido and improve your sexual performance.
A healthy diet for sex can include:
- Meat or other protein sources
- Nuts and seeds
- Citrus fruits
- Leafy greens
- Whole grains
Eating meals with your partner can also be healthy for your relationship. Mealtimes can unwind and strengthen bonds, and many couples take these moments to relax together.
5. Update your foreplay
Foreplay is more than just a precursor to sex. It gets your body excited and ready to enjoy this time with your partner. Try something new, such as an oil massage or playing a fun game. You don’t have to be naked to get excited for sex. Sex is just as much of a mental act as it is physical.
6. Implement gratitude
Your sex life can often be a large indicator of what’s going in your relationship. When you’re happy sexually, it’s pretty plausible that your relationship is, too. So, if your sex is suffering, find ways to improve communication and get closer to your partner. The easiest way to do this is to cultivate gratitude. Thank him or her for the little things, like doing the dishes or cooking even the simplest of weeknight dinners.
COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION – This might sound like an obvious tip, but it’s one of the easiest things to forget about. Our daily lives usually involve work, family, friends, and some stressful situations. Many times, we take our communication with our partner for granted.
In a relationship, it’s essential to keep an open communication on all matters, and sex is no exception. Couples who feel comfortable talking to each other will find it easier to discuss issues such as conflicting schedules, lack of privacy, and sexual preferences.
Something as common as stress can cause male sexual health problems, such as low libido and erectile dysfunction. In these cases, communicating with your partner in a respectful manner can help you both identify and solve any underlying issues.
7. Build anticipation
You know the feeling when your partner looks amazing, and you think about him or her all night, so by the time you get home, you are beyond ready? Try doing this on purpose every now and then. Get dressed last, and do your hair and makeup just in your bra and underwear.
8. Get out of the bedroom
The last thing we want in our sex lives is too much routine. The easiest way to break that is just simply getting out of the bedroom. You have an entire house or apartment — make use of it! Whether it’s in the shower (the slippery factor is a little difficult, but we believe in you!), the kitchen, the car (all those high school make-out memories), there’s a lot of options to get it on.
9. Use sex toys with your partner
Sex toys don’t just have to be for solo play! Whether you and your partner browse a store (or website!) together (great bonding time) or you pick something up to surprise him or her, there’s something out there for you both. Adding sex toys in your relationship can be a bit intimidating, but if you’re on the same page and don’t think into too much, it can be a great tool (literally) for getting you and your partner out of a rut.
10. Track your sex life
It’s easy to go a few weeks without even touching your partner if you both live very busy lives. Apps like Nice Sex Tracker and Clue (for period tracking) both have options to keep track in a calendar view of your sex life. If your stats dip, you know to start doing some of the other tricks above to boost them up! You can also totally use your planner or regular iCal for this, but you might want to come up with a code (a fun emoji, perhaps?!) if you’re afraid of other people seeing all the days you’ve had sex.
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you need to talk about STDs with your sex partners. Feeling safe is a great booster for sexual desire, and the best way to feel safe during sex is knowing that you’re both healthy and free of STDs.
Don’t be afraid to ask your partner about their sexual history. Regardless of whether you have a steady partner or not, knowing that you’re both tested will give you peace of mind and allow you to enjoy sex fully.
Visit a women’s sexual health clinic to get tested.
11. Get enough sleep
Lack of sleep impacts the libido a lot. I mean, having sex when you’re exhausted doesn’t even sound fun at all. Yes, we want to have fun, but make sure you’re starting at a reasonable time, so you can have even more fun the next night.
12. Get some professional sexual health advice
If you suspect that there are deeper issues keeping you from fully enjoying sex, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor. Many medical conditions can cause a low sex drive or sexual dysfunction, from hormonal disorders to endometriosis.
Certain medications, such as oral contraceptives and antidepressants, can lower your libido. Your doctor will be the best person to help you pinpoint the source of any possible issues and how to fix them.
13. Take vitamins for sexual health
Have you ever thought about taking vitamins for your sexual health?
Different vitamins have different effects on our sex lives. Vitamin C can improve circulation, vitamin D has been shown to increase sex hormone levels, and it improves erectile and sexual dysfunction.
Other supplements can also help your sex life. Zinc can improve sexual function and increase testosterone levels. The amino acid arginine can improve your blood circulation, which is essential for erections and sexual pleasure. Your doctor could recommend an L-citrulline supplement, which is converted to arginine by your body.
14. Use sexual health products
Many sexual health products can help you have a more enjoyable sex life. Many factors, such as age, stress, and contraceptives, can decrease a woman’s ability to lubricate. This can make sex uncomfortable, but using a lubricant can be an easy fix.
Nowadays, there are many types of lubricants available. If you’re using latex condoms, make sure to stay away from oil-based lubricants, as they can damage the latex and cause ruptures. Incorporating lubricants into your routine can make sex more comfortable and enjoyable for both of you.
In many cases, leading a healthy lifestyle, openly communicating with your partner, and taking your sexuality into your own hands can make a huge difference in the way you experience sex and your own body. So get to know yourself, be safe, and enjoy!
15. Love yourself too
To have satisfying sex, you have to discover what you like in bed. Masturbating, whether you’re single or in a relationship, can be a very effective way to discover how to get aroused. It can also help be a healthy way to feel more comfortable with your body.
Another great way to discover what you like is by watching porn or reading erotic books. This can help you learn about different things you might be interested in; you can do this alone or with a partner, and it can even improve intimacy between you.
We talk a lot about body image, and it’s for a good reason. Feeling good about yourself improves more areas of your life than just your self-esteem, and it’s bound to improve your sex life significantly. Just think about it. If you could be naked with your partner and feel proud of your body, how much weight and stress that would lift off of your shoulders? It’s amazing, and it’s so underrated. If you need a little help getting there, no fear — we got you.