F*CK, MARRY, KILL: Enneagram, Myers–Briggs, Astrology

Hello, and welcome to our new series where we play F*ck, Marry, Kill with different aspects of wellness. For our inaugural game, we’re pitting popular introspection tools against each other.

So without further ado … FMK: Enneagram, Myers–Briggs, astrology?

Our thoughts are below.


F*ck: Astrology

Unstable but sexy. Has a major attitude every time Mercury goes retrograde, and the new moon is either super passionate or super moody. Plus, ugh—water signs, amirite?

Marry: Enneagram

Big Aiden Shaw energy. Can’t explain it. Enneagram just gives stable and reliable vibes (but in a “still knows how to have fun” kind of way).

Kill: Myers–Briggs

You’re tacky and I hate you. 

JK … sort of. Who has the time to answer all of those questions? Also, we’re all out here spelling “Sagittarius” on the first try, but we’ll never remember if it’s “Myers” or “Meyers”.

Agree? Disagree? Let us know on IG or TikTok.


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