Hello again, dear friend Anonymous.
Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we answer them with the help of an expert. The topic of our latest submission: lost orgasms.
Ever gone through a time where, no matter what you do, you just can’t climax? Like, even the things that normally get you off just…don’t send you over the edge?
We tapped global sexologist and mentor Juliette Allen to share tips on how to find your O again.
1. IS IT COMMON TO GO THROUGH PERIODS WHERE YOU CAN’T REACH ORGASM?
“Yes, it’s very common. We all go through ups and downs in life, and these different seasons in life can have a huge impact on our orgasmic potential. It’s normal for these periods to happen in life. Don’t stress too much, as that will only make the situation worse.”
2. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?
“Some of the common life changes that impact orgasm are increased stress, job change, breakup, pregnancy, parenting, any kind of trauma, sickness, disease, death of a loved one—the list goes on. As life ebbs and flows, so does the orgasmic energy in our body, not to mention our libido.
“The state of a relationship also has a huge impact on orgasm—lack of communication, verbal and physical abuse, manipulative behavior, stress, mismatched libido, parenting together. If our relationship isn’t thriving as a whole, our ability to orgasm can plummet. It’s like our body intentionally decommissions our libido and ability to enjoy pleasure when our energy is taken up trying to fix or process relationship challenges.”
3. CAN YOU SHARE SOME ADVICE?
“First, take time to look at your stress levels, and then take positive steps toward more ease and rest in everyday life. Take a good hard look at your romantic relationship and make the necessary changes to initiate more harmony and love. And then lastly, be kind and patient with yourself. Your ability to orgasm WILL return, I promise! It just may take some time and acceptance of where you’re at right now in life.