Hello again, dear friend Anonymous.
Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we answer them with the help of an expert. The topic of our latest submission: lost orgasms.
Ever gone through a time where, no matter what you do, you just can’t climax? Like, even the things that normally get you off just…don’t send you over the edge?
We tapped global sexologist and mentor Juliette Allen to share tips on how to find your O again.
1. IS IT COMMON TO GO THROUGH PERIODS WHERE YOU CAN’T REACH ORGASM?
“Yes, it’s very common. We all go through ups and downs in life, and these different seasons in life can have a huge impact on our orgasmic potential. It’s normal for these periods to happen in life. Don’t stress too much, as that will only make the situation worse.”
2. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?
“Some of the common life changes that impact orgasm are increased stress, job change, breakup, pregnancy, parenting, any kind of trauma, sickness, disease, death of a loved one—the list goes on. As life ebbs and flows, so does the orgasmic energy in our body, not to mention our libido.
“The state of a relationship also has a huge impact on orgasm—lack of communication, verbal and physical abuse, manipulative behavior, stress, mismatched libido, parenting together. If our relationship isn’t thriving as a whole, our ability to orgasm can plummet. It’s like our body intentionally decommissions our libido and ability to enjoy pleasure when our energy is taken up trying to fix or process relationship challenges.”
3. CAN YOU SHARE SOME ADVICE?
“First, take time to look at your stress levels, and then take positive steps toward more ease and rest in everyday life. Take a good hard look at your romantic relationship and make the necessary changes to initiate more harmony and love. And then lastly, be kind and patient with yourself. Your ability to orgasm WILL return, I promise! It just may take some time and acceptance of where you’re at right now in life.
I’ve had so much fun answering your questions in my Ask Me Anything series, so today I’m focusing on your beauty-related questions sourced straight from our @BeautyLeeBar Instagram Stories. From the best face oils to my favorite haircare products, here are a few tidbits you may or may not know about me…
1. What is your favorite serum or oil?
Hands down OLEHENRIKSEN Banana Bright 15% Vitamin C Dark Spot Serum and Tarte Maracuja Oil. The serum and the facial oil make my skin look brighter, radiant, glowy, and smoother. I always apply the two in the morning and at night.
2. What’s your favorite face sunscreen?
I like Fenty Skin Hydra Vizor Refillable Invisible Face Moisturizer SPF 30 with Niacinamide and Shiseido Clear Sunscreen Stick SPF 50+. It layers well with my skin products and makeup. I like that it doesn’t feel greasy on my skin and that the sunscreens don’t leave my face with white streaks.
3. What shampoo and conditioner hair products do you use to keep it healthy?
4. Eyebrow tips for light brows?
5. Do you prefer a side part or a middle part?
Though I may be a millennial, I most often part my hair in the middle. Unless I am going for vintage-inspired styles, I find it flatters my face more than a side part.
6. Any suggestions for any retinol-free anti-aging products?
If you’re not a huge fan of retinol, you can try products with bakuchiol, a plant-based alternative to retinol that has similar effects. Make sure to do your research before trying any new ingredients, however.
7. Do you use the same products and the same routine in the AM and PM?
8. What recommendations do you have for really dry skin?
9. What’s your favorite lip gloss?
It is not a lip gloss more like a lip oil but it’s Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez Soft Pinch Tinted Lip Oil and Fenty Skin Cherry Treat Conditioning + Strengthening Lip Oil. I do have the Fenty Beauty by Rihanna Gloss Bomb Universal Lip Luminizer in my purse as well but right now the lip oils are giving for me.
This lip gloss/lip oil is my favorite and is always in my purse no matter where I go. I love it because it has a gorgeous shade that looks so flattering and pretty on the lips, especially on black women.
10. Do you wear natural deodorant? If so, do you have a favorite brand?
I do wear natural deodorant, and my favorite brand is Lavanila Aluminum-Free Natural Deodorant. It comes in a nice Vanilla Lavender scent that I always carry in my purse to re-apply when necessary.
What other beauty questions do you have for me?
Let me know in the comments below.
Even though salons are opened back up, a lot of us are busy with work, school, and home life so paying someone to get our brows together isn’t the focus for right now. But that doesn’t mean we want to walk around looking like a beast. So, we at BeautyLeeBar decided to handle things on our own and look for how to clean up eyebrows at home without going to the beauty salon.
We did a lot of research before we found some YouTube videos that were a winner for us. The beauty influencers demonstrate an easy step-by-step tutorial showing how to clean up your eyebrows at home easily. We couldn’t just keep this to ourselves so here’s what we learned…
How to clean up eyebrows at home:
You will need:
- Facial touch-up razor (available in pharmacies, Walmart, Amazon, etc)
- Slanted eyebrow pencil (optional)
- Eyebrow brush or spoolie
- A pair of scissors
- Water spray
1. It’s best to clean the area before you start tweezing, so wash your face first.
2. Brush your eyebrows upwards really well, until you start seeing your longer hairs.
3. If you don’t want your hair to be too long and you don’t like the bushy and messy look, use the scissors to trim the longer hairs you want to shorten, but do it very carefully.
Beauty Note: Avoid trimming your eyebrow at the tail, just the center, and front.
4. Use an eyebrow pencil to fill in any sparse areas. This is so you can determine your eyebrow shape and know the spots that shouldn’t approach when plucking your eyebrows.
5. Now brush the eyebrows again, but naturally this time.
6. Use the tweezers to remove any stray hairs that are far away from your brows and the area you defined.
7. Pull the skin, above your brow, upwards using your fingers. Very gently and carefully, trace the razor downwards to clean up any extra hairs or peach fuzz around your brows.
8. Seal your work with eyebrow gel to keep everything in place.
Primp Tip: Don’t forget to think about your brow’s natural shape, so you don’t try to tweeze it into something new entirely. This is not brow art, its brow shaping! Be cautious, careful, and restrained. Just clean up the bare minimums on the bottoms, where you see stray hairs.
What that means in practice: Take your tweezers and tweeze stray hairs beneath the brow. Make sure you’re pulling hair in the direction that it’s growing in. You want to take it out the way it comes in, or you can end up getting ingrown hairs.
Primp Tip: Once it’s done, lightly moisturize the brow area to calm the inflamed skin and rehydrate. Try a gentle facial oil like Josie Maran Mini 100 percent Pure Argan Oil, Tatcha GOLD CAMELLIA BEAUTY OIL Nourishing 23k Gold Oil, or a water-based moisturizer like Tatcha THE SILK CREAM Firming Hydration.
Be careful: Make sure you sterilize all these beauty tools before and after using them.
Watch these eyebrows clean up tutorial:
Got any makeup or skincare questions? ASK BeautyLeeBar can help with that! Post your question, and we’ll answer you!