7 THINGS You’re Probably Forgetting Before a Date

Modern dating is one of the single people circles of hell, and this is a hill we will die on. But since it’s a thing that many people do, us included, we thought we’d try to make the process a bit better by sharing some hard-won tips. Here, are seven things you’re probably forgetting before a date.

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3 good convo starters

Statistically speaking the conversation will, at some point, peter off into an awkward silence. Have a few things at the ready to help resuscitate it. 

An easy out

In case those convo starters don’t work. Or your date brings up NFTs. 

A razor

Raise your hand if you’re part of the “decided to forgo shaving before a date as a deterrent to sleeping with said date, but it didn’t stop you and now you’re in their bathroom using a questionable razor you found on the counter as quickly as possible, so they don’t think you’re pooping” crew. (JK, but not really.)

Tell someone where you are

Because ending up on an episode of Dateline is not the endgame here. 

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A phone that’s not at 10 percent battery 

A gentle reminder to charge your phone! 

Focus on whether or not you like them

Not whether or not they like you. 

Your chill

See above tip. Also, this is especially applicable on a first date—as clichéd as it is, try not to put so much pressure on the date.

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“BLB”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

Woman on top sex position advice from men who share how to ride dick

Woman-on-top (or ‘Cowgirl’, or ‘The Rider’) is a classic sex position if you are a woman or have a vagina, and are sleeping with a man or someone with a penis (or someone wearing a strap-on). As most women and vagina-owners can’t orgasm through penetration alone, this position is great because you can get extra stimulation either through grinding your clitoris as you ride away, or manually stimulating your clit with your fingers/a partner’s fingers/a vibrator.

But, if you’re an over-thinker like me (this is amplified tenfold when naked and having sex), it’s hard to know exactly what to do when you’re up there. Do what feels good for you. But remember, the best sex happens when both partners are having the time of their lives. Here, some guys on Reddit give their tips for how to ride dick in a way that’s enjoyable for everyone involved. If you’re ever in doubt, remember the golden rule: talk about it and talk about it honestly and openly.

WOMAN ON TOP TIPS – HOW TO RIDE DICK, ACCORDING TO MEN

1. “I like when she gets on top and tries her best to make herself cum. It gets me so turned on to see her take command of her orgasmic destiny. This is also the most common way for my wife and me to cum together.” [via]

2. “Don’t bounce too high… speed isn’t always the best. Going slow. Also, getting the right angle is important. Ask which angle feels the best.” [via]

3. “Use my chest for leverage.” [via]

4. “Use your hips, not your legs. Also, getting into a squat, on your hands and feet, that’s extremely hot. And don’t forget to lean in and kiss us now and then.” [via]

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5. “This might be overly general advice because it goes for everyone in most sex positions, but keep an eye on [your partner’s] reactions to what you’re doing. Both noises and facial expressions. If a particular speed, rhythm, or angle is working for them you should be able to see it in their face and possibly hear it.” [via]

6 .”Press their hands to your boobs while grinding them. It’s really hot!” [via]

7. “While it feels really good for you to just grind your hips on them while they’re inside, they generally need some extra movement to build through friction for them to get off. Also, the further you bounce up the higher the risk you bend the penis wrong and kill the erection.” [via]

8. “No matter what you think you look like, you don’t need to be self-conscious. We are loving it, and we think you look hot as hell.” [via]

9. “Don’t be self-conscious about what you look like, but seeing you grind and moan is hot. We love that shit. Speaking of grinding, I love it when she grinds on my dick more so than thrusting.” [via]

10. “Focus on getting yourself off. We’re just glad to be there.” [via]

11. “Don’t be afraid to be a little selfish when you’re on top. This is a position where you have more control. Use it to your advantage. If you want them to feel good, but a little vertical movement to it and allow their hands to roam.” [via]

12. “If you are riding someone, don’t try to lift off so far that just the tip is in you. In my experience, it is really hard to maintain that stopping point when both of y’all really get into it. Try to just lift off half his length in your enthusiasm you’ll probably get most of the way off him but the chance of going too far is reduced.” [via]

13. “Your best bet is: communicate better about what you both want.” [via]

14. “The best cowgirl I’ve ever had came from a girl who could salsa. The best feeling comes from amazing hip control. Smooth, powerful, rhythmic movements.” [via]

15. “Get on. Close your eyes if you need to, just lose yourself, vibrate back and forth as I guide your hips, and gush all over my cock. Also, if you are struggling with maneuverability issues during your first times together, reverse cowgirl is a great interim step, both physically and psychologically since eye contact isn’t a factor.” [via]

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16. “You should also be honest with each other and not just yourself. Switching positions if you’re getting tired is better than carrying on until you literally can’t do it anymore and it just becomes a pathetic attempt to get to the finish line that fails miserably. We go from cowgirl to missionary, to sitting and back to cowgirl for the big finish. If you need a break, take one.” [via]

17. “If it’s uncomfortable or awkward for you chances are they’re not enjoying it. 50% of my pleasure comes from knowing my wife is having a good time and it’s easy to pick up when your partner isn’t enjoying it.” [via]

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BODY LANGUAGE TO NOTICE on Your First Date

Everybody tells a story. By merely paying attention to body language, you can get your first clue as to if your potential match may go the distance. The way you move, react, and interact can send a signal about the way you are feeling at any given moment. But what about the way someone reacts to you? Is it possible to tell what someone is thinking about you simply by the way they move their body?

In the world of first dates and new relationships, the body language from either party can express more than the actual words themselves. As humans, we like to touch the things we like. We like to be physically close to people we like. Touch and sweet gestures can signal the beginning stages of a possible long-term connection with your date.

The most obvious form of body language that indicates your date is interested in you is touch. Touch is a great sign of interest. Placing a hand on the small of your back as you enter a restaurant speaks volumes. Reaching across the table and touching your hand for a quick second shows interest. Gestures and facial expressions can also add to the element of attraction. Direct eye contact during your date is also a good sign of someone liking you.

As a general rule, we like to be physically close to someone we feel a connection with. Being physically close to someone is a human craving, but the human connection needs to come first. One good way to tell if your date is feeling connected to you is to pay attention to the amount of physical space between you. We’ve all had those awkward encounters where your date maintains a 3-foot distance from you at all times. Or worse yet, your date walks 10 feet in front of you and leaves you in the dust. In these instances, it’s generally safe to say there is not a great connection between you.

To ensure your body language is received favorably, it’s important to be available. This means keep your hands on the table so they can be touched. Uncross your arms as you walk so your date can take your hand. Walk-in a relaxed and carefree posture and expect nothing. That way, if there is a reach for your hand, it’s comfortable and not forced. In other words, make yourself touchable (but not too touchable!).

Call me a hopeless romantic, or simply old-fashioned, but I think traditional roles should still be considered when making the first move on a date. When making the first move to hold hands or walk arm-in-arm, if you want to scrap tradition and go for it, you need to be equally ready to accept rejection if your date is not feeling the vibe.

To let your date know you are interested, a smile works wonders and also helps to ease the first date jitters. Eye contact goes a long way to promote interest, especially when done with a slight touch on the arm or hand across the table. Sitting across from your date rather than side by side at the table gives a better view of your body language. Oh, and leaning in to talk signals, “I like you.”

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Tense, ridged, and upright body language signals stress and straight-up anxiety, something no one wants to deal with, especially on a first date. The more calm the body language, the calmer and more productive the date will be. Here’s to a successful first date.

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Michelle Afont is a relationship expert, divorce lawyer, and author of The Dang Factor. She has witnessed firsthand the reasons for the demise of over 50% of the marriages throughout the United States. Her vast experience in the world of breakups, heartbreak, makeups, and re-launching love is the reason she changes the way women love. Michelle has conducted extensive research on the intricacies of love, commitment, faithfulness, and what makes a relationship work. Follow her on InstagramFacebook, and Twitter for more relationship advice.

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How to LAST LONGER IN BED

Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research and then craft a story to answer as many as we can. This week we tapped Cheryl Fagan, sexpert and founder of On Top, to provide the steamy secret to standout stamina. She’s also responsible for deeply explaining holistic sexuality to our readers.

We know you’re antsy for the answer, so we’ll let her take it from here.

I Want to Last Longer in Bed. What Can I Do? 

“The answer to this question will differ from person to person. This question takes some self-inquiry. It’s not necessarily a matter of tricks and techniques you need to learn but getting real within and knowing what it is that you are expecting from the experience of sex.

Why do you want to last longer? Are you getting tired? Or bored? Is it because the pleasure is so intense you can’t get enough or is it that you think you ‘should be going for longer? This question needs to be considered from a biopsychosocial approach. There could be something going on hormonally or maybe medication is having an influence (I’d encourage seeing a medical professional rule this out). We want to consider some cultural myths or expectations that you may need to let go of. Are there interpersonal relationship issues? Do you feel safe? Do you know your sexual needs matter just as much as your partner’s? How are your self-esteem and sexual energy?

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We live in a culture that is constantly telling us that sex is about performance, but satisfying/nourishing/mind-blowing sex is so much deeper than that. It’s not just about lasting longer but being completely satisfied. So how can we help you find sexual satisfaction…

Without knowing all of the details, I’m going to approach this from a psychological perspective. What did I mean earlier when I said it’s not about tricks, but about self-awareness? Knowing your sexual inhibitions and how to work with them is the key to having the sex life you desire.

Sexual inhibitions can be conscious or subconscious blocks that we have to experience sexual desire or arousal. They can be a result of your upbringing, social conditioning, past experiences, and so on.

It’s not about more techniques or skills but lessening those inhibitions.

One aspect of being sexually empowered is knowing your ons and offs. What turns you on and what turns you off? List them. Consider your most memorable and mind-blowing sexual experience (if you don’t think you’ve had that—what is a fantasy?), and write down what you felt, smelled, saw, tasted, and heard. What was so good about it? Now think of a not-so-great sexual experience and answer those same questions. Don’t judge yourself—if you don’t like some positions, that’s OK, or if you like the lights a certain way, that’s OK. Once you have a better sense of this and can communicate that to yourself and then to your partner(s), you’re on the road to the sex you desire. Being able to honestly communicate about sex is one of the greatest determining factors of how enjoyable sex will be for you.

Once you understand your ons and offs better, act on that. Do the things that increase your arousal and limit the offs. When you’re so aroused, present in the moment, and prioritizing your pleasure and your partner’s pleasure, I am sure it will last as long as you both need for the satisfaction you’re after.”

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“HelloBeauties”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the interviewee only, and BeautyLeeBar does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

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