How to LAST LONGER IN BED

Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research and then craft a story to answer as many as we can. This week we tapped Cheryl Fagan, sexpert and founder of On Top, to provide the steamy secret to standout stamina. She’s also responsible for deeply explaining holistic sexuality to our readers.

We know you’re antsy for the answer, so we’ll let her take it from here.

I Want to Last Longer in Bed. What Can I Do? 

“The answer to this question will differ from person to person. This question takes some self-inquiry. It’s not necessarily a matter of tricks and techniques you need to learn but getting real within and knowing what it is that you are expecting from the experience of sex.

Why do you want to last longer? Are you getting tired? Or bored? Is it because the pleasure is so intense you can’t get enough or is it that you think you ‘should be going for longer? This question needs to be considered from a biopsychosocial approach. There could be something going on hormonally or maybe medication is having an influence (I’d encourage seeing a medical professional rule this out). We want to consider some cultural myths or expectations that you may need to let go of. Are there interpersonal relationship issues? Do you feel safe? Do you know your sexual needs matter just as much as your partner’s? How are your self-esteem and sexual energy?

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We live in a culture that is constantly telling us that sex is about performance, but satisfying/nourishing/mind-blowing sex is so much deeper than that. It’s not just about lasting longer but being completely satisfied. So how can we help you find sexual satisfaction…

Without knowing all of the details, I’m going to approach this from a psychological perspective. What did I mean earlier when I said it’s not about tricks, but about self-awareness? Knowing your sexual inhibitions and how to work with them is the key to having the sex life you desire.

Sexual inhibitions can be conscious or subconscious blocks that we have to experience sexual desire or arousal. They can be a result of your upbringing, social conditioning, past experiences, and so on.

It’s not about more techniques or skills but lessening those inhibitions.

One aspect of being sexually empowered is knowing your ons and offs. What turns you on and what turns you off? List them. Consider your most memorable and mind-blowing sexual experience (if you don’t think you’ve had that—what is a fantasy?), and write down what you felt, smelled, saw, tasted, and heard. What was so good about it? Now think of a not-so-great sexual experience and answer those same questions. Don’t judge yourself—if you don’t like some positions, that’s OK, or if you like the lights a certain way, that’s OK. Once you have a better sense of this and can communicate that to yourself and then to your partner(s), you’re on the road to the sex you desire. Being able to honestly communicate about sex is one of the greatest determining factors of how enjoyable sex will be for you.

Once you understand your ons and offs better, act on that. Do the things that increase your arousal and limit the offs. When you’re so aroused, present in the moment, and prioritizing your pleasure and your partner’s pleasure, I am sure it will last as long as you both need for the satisfaction you’re after.”

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“HelloBeauties”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the interviewee only, and BeautyLeeBar does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

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Beauty Q and A: Should I Use a Lip Scrub Before Applying Lipstick?

Chapped lips can make it difficult to get a flawless lipstick application. For a soft, smooth canvas, a lip scrub is a must-have. To find out just how and why to incorporate lip scrubs into your lip routine, we talked to Sara Happ, lip expert and founder of the eponymous brand. Read on for her tips so you can start swiping on the hottest summer lip colors with ease.

The Benefits of Using a Lip Scrub

 “Using a lip scrub gives you smooth lips that make a great base for lipstick to adhere to,” Happ says. A scrub is especially key if you’re wearing a matte liquid lipstick, like the L’Oréal Infallible Pro-Matte Liquid Lipstick, which can emphasize texture if you don’t exfoliate.  

To ensure safe use, you want to make sure you’re scrubbing your lips with products that are built to smooth and moisturize your pout. “Avoid using scrubs with ingredients that could hurt your lips — such as bits of almonds or other sharp materials,” Happ says. Look for nourishing oils, like jojoba and almond, with sugar to exfoliate, like the Sara Happ The Lip Scrub in Pink Grapefruit.

Sara Happ The Lip Scrub in Pink Grapefruit

How to Use a Lip Scrub

To properly use a lip scrub, massage the product onto dry lips with your fingers, then wipe away flakes with a tissue. Follow up with a moisturizing lip balm to prevent lips from drying out.

Happ recommends using a scrub every day to help “maintain healthy, smooth lips even throughout harsh weather or travel.” It’s important to note, however, that you should be mindful of avoiding irritation. “Don’t scrub cracked or bleeding lips,” Happ notes. Instead, use a product like The Lip Slip Gloss to help rehydrate. “Once they’re healthy again, start scrubbing every day,” she explains. Scrubbing cracked lips will make them worse, which is why it’s important to make sure they are moisturized beforehand.

Beauty Q and A: What Is Microshading?

We’ve heard of microbladingmicro feathering, but recently another eyebrow tattoo option has made its way onto our radar and that’s microshading. When it comes to permanent makeup, doing your research before getting anything done is non-negotiable. So, if you’re curious whether microshading is for you, keep reading. We tapped professional brow expert Joey Healy to learn more about this eyebrow procedure and how it differs from microblading. 

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What Is Microshading? 

According to Healy, microshading is often referred to as ombré or powder brows and looks like a more fuller-looking brow. It utilizes a fine tattoo pen to create tiny dots as opposed to microblading, which creates short strokes. “ With microshading, you can change the density pattern depending on how close or far away those dots are,” says Healy. “ The closer together the dots are, the darker the result is. It’s very much like an impressionist painting, which is the best way to think of it.” 

Who’s a Good Candidate for Microshading?

“ Microshading is thought to be better for those with sensitive or oily skin,” says Healy. That’s because the pigment is applied as individual dots as opposed to strokes which is a bit more gentle and distributes the pigment in a concentrated area making it last a little bit longer. Healy also explains that if you like fuller-looking brows, microshading might be worth considering. “ The thing about microshading is that it’s a little bit darker,” he says. “ It’s a little bit more of that Instagram kind of brow.”

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How Long Does Microshading Last?

Touch-ups are generally recommended every eight to 12 months. Healy explains that it lasts longer than microblading with fewer touch-ups, but everyone is different, so it’s important to take your skin type and needs into consideration and consult with your brow technician about aftercare. 

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Can You Create a Microshaded-Like Look at Home?

If you like the idea of microshading but are nervous about the commitment, rest assured you can recreate the look using powder brow products at home. 

“ If you want to do microshading, use a brow powder and concentrate it on the areas you want it the most,” says Healy. If you need a product recommendation, the Joey Healy Luxe Brow Powder and the Duo Brow Brush make it easy to achieve soft and natural-looking brows. For a drugstore pick, we like the Maybelline New York Tattoo Brow 36HR Pigment Pencil, which comes in an easy-to-use-pencil. 

Once you have your product of choice, it’s time to create your shadow. “ I always recommend doing very little in the front so the brow isn’t boxed in,” says Healy. “ Then, I suggest doing a little bit more towards the arch and the tail to give a little bit more definition and that kind of ombre effect.”

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Quick Q: Should I Apply Skin-Care Products on Wet Skin?

Even the most seasoned skincare enthusiasts might have some missteps in their daily routine — like not knowing what order to apply different products in or mixing ingredients that don’t play well together by accident. Another one of these skincare mishaps is a habit we’re all likely doing: drying our face before applying products. And as it turns out, skincare is best applied to wet or damp skin. We spoke with board-certified dermatologist Dr. Michelle Farber of Schweiger Dermatology about why this is the case, what the benefits are, and how to know if it might be a vital step for you.

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Why Should You Apply Skincare Products to Damp Skin?

“The benefit is allowing your skin to better absorb the main ingredients in your products,” says Dr. Farber. When your skin is wet and permeable, it allows most products to penetrate through more easily. That being said, with damp skincare application comes responsibility, she adds, like “choosing the right products for your skin, making sure you don’t overdo it with too many products and adding appropriate moisturizers to help keep your regimen balanced.”

What Types of Skin-Care Products Should You Apply to Wet Skin?

By far the best product to apply on wet skin is a moisturizer, says Dr. Farber. “Applying a moisturizer right after the shower is a great way to keep your skin hydrated.” If you need a recommendation, the CeraVe Moisturizing Cream is a rich face and body moisturizer that we love for it’s a non-greasy formula and ability to deeply hydrate the skin. 

CeraVe
Moisturizing Cream

When it comes to more potent skincare products like serums, however, you want to be careful about how much you’re applying. Because your skin is absorbing more product while it’s wet, it can often increase irritation. As far as skincare masks go, you can go ahead and apply them on freshly washed skin, but products like sunscreen should be applied (and re-applied!) onto dry skin.

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How Often Should I Apply Skin Care to Damp Skin?

Dr. Farber advises being mindful of how your skin reacts to certain products when increasing absorption because you may experience irritation. “Don’t start applying a new product every day, especially on wet skin as it’ll be more potent, but integrate slowly, a few days a week and get your skin adjusted,” she says. Of course, if you’re unsure about what products are going to be safe for your skin, consult your dermatologist.

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