Modern dating is one of the single people circles of hell, and this is a hill we will die on. But since itâs a thing that many people do, us included, we thought weâd try to make the process a bit better by sharing some hard-won tips. Here, are seven things youâre probably forgetting before a date.
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3 good convo starters
Statistically speaking the conversation will, at some point, peter off into an awkward silence. Have a few things at the ready to help resuscitate it.
An easy out
In case those convo starters donât work. Or your date brings up NFTs.
A razor
Raise your hand if youâre part of the âdecided to forgo shaving before a date as a deterrent to sleeping with said date, but it didnât stop you and now youâre in their bathroom using a questionable razor you found on the counter as quickly as possible, so they donât think youâre poopingâ crew. (JK, but not really.)
Tell someone where you are
Because ending up on an episode of Dateline is not the endgame here.
The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (âBLBâ) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.
Big dick energyâwe all know that term (when someoneâs presence just oozes with confidence). Itâs hot and you either have it or you donât. Itâs not something you can fake. On the flip side, there is small dick energy (SDE). Which, yes, is the opposite: when someone acts like a tool out of insecurity issues. To be clear, thereâs nothing wrong with having insecurities, everyone has some level of them. Itâs how you carry and cope with the lack of uncertainty that can make a person fall into the SDE club.
Small dick energy is all flex with no skill or facts to back it up. Need some examples? Weâve got you with a list of habits the BeautyLeeBar team considers to be SDE. Disclaimer: itâs not just in men, women can have this type of energy too.
Editorâs note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
When he has to tell you how XYZ is hitting him up non-stop (insecure, much?).
When he talks about how much heâs worth (like his bank account). âI had a guy who kept telling me he was so rich and if I dated him Iâd be able to travel in style. I was like, âThanks. I can also just buy my first-class ticket. Byeeee.ââ â BeautyLeeBar team member
When he talks bad about his ex (heâll do the same to you).
When you ask a guy a serious question about the nature or future of your relationship and he deflects/doesnât answer (be an adult and answer).
When he ghosts you. Someone with BDE would tell you straight up that they arenât interested because thatâs the mature thing to do. An SDE person doesnât have the balls to say it, they simply ignore and leave you in the dust.
When he brags about literally anything but can never back it up.
When heâs intimidated by your job or work ethic. âI had someone tell me, âI typically only date girls who donât have jobs, and I feel like you work a lot.ââ â BeautyLeeBar team member
When heâs incredibly indecisive and changes his mind all the time, including how he feels about you. Stringing you along much? Weâve got no time for that.
When he mansplains. Enough said.
When heâs controlling. This one screams insecure and you should run, not walk, away from this relationship/person.
When he asks the price of items on the menu at a nice restaurant. Steer clear of a pricey place if itâs not in your budget. Nothingâs sexier than owning the fact that you need to save money, and making responsible spending decisions. If youâre trying to save, pick a cool spot thatâs in your budget to avoid feeling uncomfortable and nervous about the bill.
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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (âHello Beautiesâ) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.
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Ahh dating. The conversation is always hit or miss. You vibe or you donât, but regardless, you want to be prepared for whatâs to come. Meaningful conversation is important and word vomit is avoidable. We steer clear of that at BeautyLeeBar.Â
How do you ask? By reviewing (not memorizing) some of the questions below, and asking them to a potential partner-to-be. Take a look at these sets of questions you can ask if you need some tips for a successful date.
Editorâs note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
Ask These Questions to Make Him Think About It/You Later
There is a questionnaire that you can use that will significantly increase the chances that heâll fall in love with you. Arthur Aron, a psychologist, used the 36 questions below in his study to make two people fall in love with each other. Sounds unconventional, right? We thought so too until we found out that these same questions by Aron were used in hundreds of different studies and worked.
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Set I 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? 2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? 3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what youâre going to say? Why? 4. What would constitute a âperfectâ day for you? 5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? 6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? 7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? 8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. 9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? 10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? 11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know? 14. Is there something that youâve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why havenât you done it? 15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? 16. What do you value most in a friendship? 17. What is your most treasured memory? 18. What is your most terrible memory? 19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why? 20. What does friendship mean to you? 21. What roles do love and affection play in your life? 22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. 23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other peopleâs? 24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III 25. Make three true âweâ statements each. For instance, âWe are both in this room feeling âŠâ 26. Complete this sentence: âI wish I had someone with whom I could share ⊠â 27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know. 28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone youâve just met. 29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life. 30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? 31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already. 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? 33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why havenât you told them yet? 34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why? 35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? 36. Share a personal problem and ask your partnerâs advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you on how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
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Nerves get the best of us when it comes to going on a date. We overthink, try too hard, or fall into surface-level conversations because of the daunting idea of getting deep. What if I told you that getting deep with him on the first date makes a lasting impression? Iâve got some confidence-boosting advice for you before you go on your next night out. Read my curated tips below.Â
Editorâs note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
Ask These Questions to Make Him Think About It/You Later
There is a questionnaire that you can use that will significantly increase the chances that heâll fall in love with you. Arthur Aron, a psychologist, used the 36 questions below in his study to make two people fall in love with each other. Sounds unconventional, right? I thought so too until I found out that these same questions by Aron were used in hundreds of different studies and worked.
Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a âperfectâ day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that youâve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why havenât you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other peopleâs?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
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Set III
25. Make three true âweâ statements each. For instance, âWe are both in this room feeling ⊠â
26. Complete this sentence: âI wish I had someone with whom I could share ⊠â
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone youâve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why havenât you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partnerâs advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect on how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Avoid Saying These Words
You donât have to analyze every word before you say it, but to avoid sounding insecure. Steer clear from saying:
Maybe âŠ
A little âŠ
I think so âŠ
Remember shyness is cute. Uncertainty is far from attractive. Oh, and donât say âliterallyâŠâ
Be Decisive
When youâre on a date the other person will notice the little things. By no means am I saying hide who you are, but for goodness sake donât take 23 minutes deciding what to eat on the menu.
Give Him a Compliment
Men, as much as the next person, enjoy a compliment here and there too.
Leave a Little Mystery
Be vague with some answers to your questions. Donât tell him every little detail; itâll keep him wondering or wanting to know more.
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Leave Your Appearance As-Is, Once You’re on The Date
Leaving your date at the table while you go to the restroom to fix your makeup is perhaps customary for most women. Yes, taking your time to get ready and looking good on your date is always praised by men, but interrupting the flow of your Date to double-check your appearance is unnecessary. Donât worry, you still look great honey.
Make Eye Contact
We have all been guilty of lacking some eye contact when weâre nervous. Take a moment to hype yourself up (in your mind) before you look him straight in the eyes. Trust me, if thereâs a connection, youâll feel it.
Change How You View “The One”
When you let go of the false perspective that the next guy you go on a date is âthe one,â you are also letting go of any expectations that you may have had for him. Leave no room for disappointment. Change your narrative. View the date as something as simple as getting to know someone new.
Show Up As Yourself
Itâs exhausting to try and be a person that you think might seem more attractive. Your date wants to get to know you, so stop trying to figure out what they âwant.â Donât force something that isnât there. Itâs okay if youâre not a match.
Make It Apparent That You Don’t Need Him, You Want Him
Change the need into a want. Again, perspective. How do you feel when someone shows you they are always available, versus someone who makes time for you in their schedule?
If He Pays, Thank Him for Dinner
Having manners is always important, and he will tell his friends about the girl who did not say âthank you.â Donât be her.
