One of our favorite quotes is, “Stay close to the people who feel like sunlight.” We don’t remember when we first read it, but over the past few years, it has taken on significant importance in our life. Like some of us who are incredibly introverted, we’ve always valued quality over quantity. We tend to swiftly and infinitely remove people who no longer bring “sunlight.” It happens as you grow older as things in your life start growing for the better. Resources become limited and we physically don’t have the capacity for anything less than sunlight. One of the things We’ve found most valuable from this mindset shift, is we become better people along the way.
Also, we don’t know about you, but this past year has had a profound effect on our friendships. We feel like we’ve heard a lot of people say the same thing. Being unable to socialize freely and required to put more effort into our connections tested a lot of relationships. Some faded into the background while others burned brighter.
It’s truly remarkable how we can adapt and grow when we’re soaking up sunshine rather than spending too much time in the shade.
Have you found your sunlight people? They are far and few between, but we promise they’re out there.
How to know if you’ve found your sunlight people:
They nurture and respect your vulnerability.
Your deepest and most treasured core values are aligned.
They are supportive of you in your good times.
They are supportive of you in your bad times.
Your time with them feels intentional and leaves your cup full.
They are consistent and steadfast, yet adaptable to life’s ebbs and flows.
You don’t worry about the state of your house when they drop by for a visit. They love you and will never judge the tornado your mindset has created.
You want to share your biggest triumphs and your lowest lows with them. And most importantly, you feel safe sharing these with them.
They always respect your time and your personal growth. Healthy boundaries are important on both sides.
They have gratitude. They truly appreciate everything they have in life, which makes them happier and more satisfied.
They choose every opportunity to experience joy.
You’ll know your sunshine people when you find them. The warmth is undeniable. Fill your cup with their light, and you’ll fill theirs right back.
Extroverts—we come in layers and all shades of intensity. If we qualify ourselves as one (because let’s be real, you can only self-identify yourself as one or not), we feel more comfortable putting our emotions and personality up at the front than our counterparts, the introverts. We like to share parts of our lives and who we are with others (for the most part) and we feel at home asking other people questions and getting into the mix.
And for those who don’t relate to this, that can be a lot. For introverts, it can be engaging and impressive to watch as we bound forward, in a way that seems fearless, into social situations, work events, or other vulnerable people-facing adventures. On the flip side, it can also be overwhelming to think of being that way when every fiber of who you are would fight that kind of attention or platform.
When it comes down to it, being an extrovert can feel unnatural to some. And just like holding ourselves back from certain opportunities or situations feels like a waste to extroverts, introverts may just not see it that way. This can be hard when we develop relationships, and friendships or have family members that don’t sync up with our outlook. You want to seek the world out alongside the people you love most, but how you do it can be a disagreement when finding the happy balance between these two personality types is not met.
Here are a few things to remember that could help you bridge any gaps as you face life alongside introverted personalities.
Use your extroverted personality to relate to introverts
Sometimes as extroverts, since we open ourselves up to people easily, people often more easily return that gesture. This gives us an advantage in really getting to understand people better. This type of trait can build empathy, and when we are close to introverts, using that skill is crucial when making efforts to make the introverts you love feel more relaxed. Approach their perspective with empathy and it will allow you to more easily assess an introvert’s feelings.
Learn from introverts
Introverts have a lot to offer. Since they aren’t jumping into the thick of things naturally or since they are preferring to spend more time inwardly, they are usually very keen observers. Ask them questions. You will likely learn things from them that you never considered, and it will open up your mind to other ideas, perceptions, and possibilities.
It’s OK to encourage, but don’t push
People are who they are. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or an extrovert. One is not better than the other. Both offer wonderful things to the world. But remember there is a time and a place to encourage people to get out of their bubble, challenge and push themselves, but always be patient and respectful of their boundaries. Find that line and be mindful—that is what loving another person is, and it’s important to be respectful of it.
Take advantage of the balance
Similar to how it is OK to encourage introverts to go out of their comfort zone occasionally, let introverts remind you it’s also OK to reel it in. This balance will allow you to slow down. Enjoy it, it will help you grow as a person.
Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of being outgoing or being more reserved, our differences are always a chance to learn, find more patience for others, learn from others and also share with others what we can teach. It is important to keep these things in mind as we learn to keep our relationships with those who we love and who are cut from a different cloth, healthy.
The Enneagram test can be an enlightening tool for self-discovery. Knowing your type gives you insight into what motivates, challenges, and fulfills you, well as how you experience life’s ups and downs. If you want to delve a little deeper, pairing journal prompts with your Enneagram type is one of the best ways to process and reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and experiences from the day. By exploring your personality traits through journaling, you can gain a better understanding of yourself and the world around you. Kick off your inner dialogue with one of these journal prompts recommended for each Enneagram type.
Describe in detail an emotion you felt today.
Type Ones strive for perfection in everything they do and often boast a strong sense of self-discipline. Although this type experiences the same range of messy human emotions as everyone else, they may not freely express their anger, sadness, nervousness, or even joy for fear of judgment. Tap into those feelings with a journal prompt that invites you to describe an emotion with as much detail as possible. What provoked this emotion? What did it physically feel like? How did you react in your words or actions?
How did I take care of myself today?
Empathetic, selfless Twos are all about taking care of others, but they tend to brush off their own needs. Making time for self-care isn’t always high on their to-do lists, so this journal prompt encourages Twos to reflect on moments throughout the day when they prioritized their well-being. It could be as simple as describing a nutritious meal or the feeling after a long, steamy shower. Make a list of the ways you put yourself first today, as a reminder that your nurturing nature should extend inward as well.
What value did I contribute to the world today?
The Achiever’s basic desire is to feel valuable and worthwhile, and they often seek this feeling through personal accomplishments. The challenge for this type is to separate their self-worth from the attention of others and other exterior signs of success. Instead of focusing on specific achievements or tasks on your to-do list, consider the value you brought to other people or your environment today. Perhaps you made someone’s day with a small act of kindness, or maybe you simply tended to your houseplants and contributed to the growth of new life. Practice finding the value in your daily doings, no matter how insignificant they may seem.
Describe your day using as many sensory details as possible.
Type Fours can be highly emotive and introspective, which means they tend to spend a lot of time in their heads. Rather than ruminating on your feelings, challenge yourself to focus instead on the concrete details of your day. Think through something you did that day in terms of what it looked, smelled, sounded, and physically felt like. Aim to describe things exactly as they are, without exaggerating or minimizing. The goal is to practice being fully present in whatever state you’re in.
How did I step back and unplug today?
With their intense focus and unquenchable curiosity, it’s easy for Type Fives to get preoccupied and distracted from daily life. If you’ve ever gotten lost in a book or fixated on learning a new skill, you know what I’m talking about. For this journal prompt, think about what you did today to unwind and give yourself a mental break. This could entail cooking a favorite meal, chatting with a friend, or simply going for a walk. Jot down both the feelings and physical sensations that came along with this activity.
What is the best thing that happened to me today?
A Type Six is prone to worst-case scenario thinking. Craving safety and security, they have a habit of running through all the “what ifs” in a situation, fixating on problems that haven’t appeared yet. If you feel that anxiety creeping in, flip your fear-based thinking and focus instead on the best thing that happened that day. Did something turn out better than you expected? Did you solve a problem that was stressing you out or find a moment of unexpected joy? Describe the good in each day as a reminder that your anxious thoughts aren’t always your reality.
When did I feel most present and grounded today?
Busy-body Enthusiasts thrive on adventure and excitement, but while they’re flying from one activity to the next, they may forget to pause and enjoy the moment. This journal prompt invites you to slow down and think about how you managed your attention that day. Tune into the times when you felt wholly present and grounded in the current moment. What were you doing? Who were you with? How can you bring that same mentality to your interactions tomorrow?
How did I practice openness today?
Self-reliant Type Eights prefer to take charge of themselves rather than yield to others. Always wanting to be in control of the situation, they often struggle with vulnerability. Instead of shying away from it, hone on that feeling and consider how you opened yourself up to others today. Did you accept help when you needed it, share something that made you feel vulnerable or simply choose to listen before speaking? Did it make you feel stronger or less so?
How did I show up for myself today?
The Peacemaker’s agreeable nature means they’re more likely to go along with others than stir the pot by standing up for themselves. They tend to tune out their own needs and wants as a way to keep the peace, which can end up creating more problems in the long run. For this journal prompt, turn your focus inward and consider how you participated in the world around you. Did you assert your own opinion, advocate for your needs, and lean in instead of zoning out? If you struggled with this today, how can you do better tomorrow?
Listen—we’ve all been there. There are times when we don’t want to leave our house, but still want something fun to do for the night. Well, luckily for you there are plenty of nighttime activities for you to do in the comfort of your home. Whether you’re with your pals, your significant other, or if you’re riding solo, here is the perfect itinerary for your night in.
GOING SOLO? NO PROBLEM.
Let’s be honest with ourselves, sometimes the thought of being around anyone can be exhausting, and the only company you want to have is yourself—it’s a natural thing. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t have a fun night all to yourself.
TRY JOURNALING OR READING
With#BookTok booming online, why not join in with all the bibliophiles and pick up a book. Whether you’re into a juicy romance or are interested in an immersive fantasy world, you’re sure to find a book that’ll have you up all night saying, “just one more page.”
If reading isn’t your pace, try picking up a journal and get to know yourself more intimately with some shadow work. With tons of great prompts all over the internet, you’ll surely be able to tune into your inner self and become one of your closest friends.
LET’S PLAY DRESS-UP!
Want a more playful activity? Why not play dress-up. There’s always something truly entertaining about conjuring up some cute looks from your closet; all without the pressure of going out. This activity is a great way to experiment with your look outside of your typical aesthetic, as well as a fun and creative way to utilize your closet in ways you may not have thought to do.
Plus, it’s a great opportunity to live out your modeling dreams and throw a little fashion show for yourself—not to mention all of the Instagram post opportunities.
THE ONE WHERE THEY STAY IN
Are you and your friends tired of going out every night to do your typical nighttime shenanigans? Well, why not spice it up with these at-home activities. Just like Ross, Rachel, Monica, Joey, Chandler, and Pheobe your Friend(s) group can also make the best of having a night in.
HOW ABOUT A POWERPOINT NIGHT?
This one for the friend groups with an obscene sense of humor and a ton of creativity. First emerging from TikTok, this trend will have your whole squad rolling on the floor.
The basic premise is for each person to make—as you may have guessed—a PowerPoint presentation to have the rest of the group dying of laughter. The best part about it though is that you can pick whatever topic you want, the more creative the better. TikTok user @lola.akw and her friends had a lot of fun with their PowerPoint night, and you can too.
CAN’T GO WRONG WITH A GAME NIGHT!
Hosting a game night is a tried-and-true classic that guarantees you and your friends will have a good time. Whether you’re into the classics like poker, or you like the more comedic route of Cards Against Humanity, there are so many variations on game night that your friend group will surely find something that suits you.
If you’re into something more intense and interactive games such as the stress-filled spoons, or the paranoia-inducing game Mafia might be some fun ones to throw into the mix. Both of these games are fairly uncommon, and yet are very entertaining, not to mention the fact that they only require a deck of cards and maybe some spoons.
A NIGHT IN, PARTY FOR TWO?
Of course, we can’t make a list of things to do for a night in without coming up with some ideas for all of the couples out there. If you and your partner are tired of watching movies and ordering food for a night in, give these two activities a try.
COOK DINNER FROM SCRATCH!
Cooking dinner for anyone is sure to be a romantic gesture, but why not spice it up? There is something so romantic about cooking but trying your hand at making a home-cooked meal from scratchcan add some flare to this—at times—basic activity.
You and your significant other can look up recipes for your favorite foods—whether it be a dessert or a main course meal—and work together to make the dish of your dreams. Not only is it a perfectly intimate way of connecting with your other half, but you also get a delicious reward at the end.
The last, but certainly not least, indoor activity on this list is a dance party. If you just don’t want to go out to the club, then why not bring the club to you?
Having a dance party with your significant other is one of the best ways to spend the night. By letting loose at home, you two can connect and get some exercise; plus, you, as the DJ, can play all of your favorite hits.
While all of these activities are categorized into groups, they can be used for almost any occasion with anyone.
What do you do for a night in? Leave a comment below.