HOW TO SET Better boundaries

Does anyone else feel like the phrase ‘boundaries’ is trending? There’s always a new self-care / self-help focus that everyone’s talking about and all I’m hearing about lately is boundaries. Which got me thinking about my own.

To me, having boundaries means that you know when to let people/events/commitments into your life, and more importantly, when to NOT let them into your life. For the most part, I feel like I’ve conquered boundaries as an adult but there’s always room for improvement. Here are my thoughts on boundaries + what I do to respect my own:


+ Wait to respond

Anyone who has my cell number will tell you that I’m bad at texting, but I disagree. If I think about it from a boundaries perspective, I’m good at text boundaries.

Yes, it might mean I’m not always quick to respond but that’s because I’m choosey about when and how I respond. Everyone thinks they deserve a response (or need to give one) within a matter of minutes these days and IMO, that’s not realistic or healthy. Sometimes I get texts but I’m focused on school, work, emails, writing a blog post, or am with the family, so I won’t respond. Sometimes I get texts but I’m scrolling TikTok or Amazon and having my time, and I won’t respond right away. Sometimes texts I get are unnecessary or don’t necessarily need a response, so I don’t respond…ever. Which is OKAY!

This doesn’t mean I don’t care about the person texting me or what they’re saying, it means I have boundaries. I like to reply to text messages when I want to when I have the time, and when I’m not trying to be present with my family. 99.9% of the time, a text can wait until you’re at peace to respond. If it’s an emergency, they’ll call.

Try waiting to respond, whether it’s a text or email or whatever until you’re in the right mindset to respond. Or if you can’t help yourself, turn on Airplane mode so that you’re not tempted. This not only helps your peace of mind but sets up boundaries around when / how you respond. It also trains people to know that they can’t expect an immediate response from you (which I think is healthy!).

+ Get comfortable with saying ‘no’

Saying ‘yes’ out of habit or guilt is probably the number one reason why boundaries are broken. I fall for this, especially with the guilt part, but I’m usually able to say ‘no’ without feeling bad about it. Especially if I break down the honest reason behind why I need to say no. For example, ‘I’d love to attend but I need to be there for my mom, my aunt is having another episode or my mom just needs it, so I can’t make it. Hope the event is a success!’ Or, ‘This sounds like a great opportunity. I’m unfortunately feeling overwhelmed with my commitments right now so I’ll have to pass, but I’d love to stay in touch.’

 + Learn your boundaires

If you have no clue whether you have boundaries or not, learn about them. Lauryn from The Skinny Confidential podcast had a sought-after boundaries relationship expert on her show a while back so I’m linking that episode here. The expert happened to be Licensed Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, author of bestsellers Drama Free and Set Boundaries Find Peace. She has practiced relationship therapy for 15 years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling.

Nedra has appeared as an expert on Red Table TalkThe Breakfast ClubGood Morning America, and CBS Morning Show to name a few. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, The Guardian, and Vice, and has appeared on numerous podcasts, including The School of Greatness, We Can Do Hard Things, and Ten Percent Happier. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and relationships.

Lauryn from The Skinny Confidential and the boundary licensed expert walks you through difficult boundary conversations, how to deal with setting your boundaries, etc.


Here are more boundary tips with valuable talking points:


+ Voice them

I’m not great at voicing my feelings but I will speak up if I feel like my boundaries are being violated. This year, I felt like I was getting requests from family, friends, my partner, and from work. It was all too much. It felt overwhelming and like everywhere I turned, work was waiting and people constantly calling my name for everything. I spoke up and set some specific boundaries around work (like ‘no, I can not come on a Saturday my time off to help set up another classroom graduation) ( oh, it is mandatory for all teachers well that was never said when hiring me and I am just now finding out about it, so NO). And it was as easy as that. If someone had the same request, you better believe I’d respect their boundaries.

I’m sure we all have blurred boundaries with work, especially since most jobs don’t end when you ‘leave the office’. I suggest setting up boundaries so that your team/boss / whoever knows when and how to reach you (within reason, of course). Certain people I work with even put their availability in their email signature so it’s a clear reminder of their boundaries. You can also set offline notifications on most communication platforms like Slack or whatever, so utilize those.

Some boundaries are more sensitive than others. For example, in-laws or your parents stopping by unannounced 5x a week or a bitchy boss who thinks she owns your life. These cases will probably require you to write out the WHY behind your request for a boundary…and things might be awkward. But in the end, most of these convos are never as bad as we assume them to be. Be assertive and kind, and if they don’t understand, that’s on them.


+ Get alone time

As someone in their mid 20’s who works full time, goes to school full time, and is a caretaker to family members, I have zero physical boundaries in my life, which I LOVE at times, and it’s also overwhelming AF. There are days when I don’t shower, go to the bathroom, or sit alone for even 5 minutes. Add in having a partner who has all these needs and trauma. So I will feel touched out physically. When I feel like this, I know I need alone time ASAP, so I try to work it into the following day. There’s something about being alone and no one needing you physically or emotionally for even 30 minutes that can seriously help.

+ Trust your gut

I’m huge on following my intuition or gut in all situations, and it can help with boundaries. Whether you’re questioning if you’re the one overstepping on someone’s boundaries OR if someone is overstepping yours, your gut usually knows what’s up.

Do you have set boundaries in your life?

6 Next-Level Rainbow Makeup Looks to Try for Pride Month

Pride month is officially here! Whether you’re celebrating on top of a parade float, at a party with friends, or keeping festivities low-key this year, you might as well do so while wearing the rainbow, whether in the form of a vibrant graphic eyeliner look or a bold, multicolored blend of shadows. Ahead, we’ve rounded up six rainbow makeup looks we love that will help you celebrate and show your pride this June.


Rainbow Makeup Looks for Pride

Don’t Burst My Bubble

A mix of neon and pastel hues paired with painted-on bubbles lets you put your bubbly personality front and center — literally. To complete this look, you’ll need an eyeshadow palette packed with every color of the rainbow. One of our favorites is the NYX Professional Ultimate Shadow Palette in I Know That’s Bright.

Star Power

Creator @kolbijmakeup pairs a daring rainbow eye with graphic eyeliner in a bold star shape, plus multidimensional glitter as highlighter. To get the edges of your liner as dramatic and sharp as possible, we suggest reaching for the NYX Professional Makeup Vivid Matte Liquid Eyeliner in White.

Neon Graphics

Rainbow makeup doesn’t have to be all, well, puppies and rainbows. Give your look an edge with boldly colored liquid liner in graphic shapes, as @deemakeupart showcases here. Get a similar look using the ultra-fine tips and bright colors of the Urban Decay 24/7 Inks Liquid Eyeliners

Rainbow Nights

While you may not spot a rainbow in the night sky IRL, there’s no denying how gorgeous it looks paired with a crescent moon and stars on your lids. Creator @slightlyunblended used stencils from Definition Beauty to get her moon shape just right. 

Rainbow Floating Liner

Floating liner guarantees all eyes on you, especially if it’s done in a rainbow color palette. Keep the attention on your eyes by pairing the liner with flushed cheeks and glossy nude lip. 

Blended and Bright Graphic Eye

In this tutorial, @udstevek shows us how to masterfully blend every Urban Decay 24/7 Eye Pencil of the rainbow to create a festive eye look. We love that he chose shades with various finishes — from matte to glittery — for a dimensional result.

This Product Is the Secret to Achieving a Glowing, Bronzed Look for Dark Skin

As someone with a deep, sometimes uneven complexion, I’ve tried and often failed to discover products that leave me glowing inside out. Without a doubt, as we head into summer, self-tanners will be promoted as the must-have product for glowing, gorgeous skin whether you have a plane ticket to a sun-soaked destination or not. Unfortunately, those with darker skin tones are often left out of the conversations around tanning, as much of it is associated with the idea of deepening one’s natural skin. But what about tanning products and practices that brighten and illuminate those with naturally deep skin tones

Let’s start with a fact: Tanning is for everyone. For individuals with darker complexions who desire a noticeably more even and vibrant skin tone, self-tanners are a must-have product year-round. “For those with a deep skin tone, using a self-tanner enables them to eliminate dull skin and achieve a healthy, hydrated glow,” says celebrity spray-tan artist Isabel Alysa, founder of Dolce Glow. Most recently, Alysa has been making headlines as the spray-tan artist behind Sofia Richie’s ultra-chic wedding look. Her brand, Dolce Glow, offers accessible self-tanning products for all skin tones, ethnicities, and body types.


Of course, the secret to creating and maintaining that glowing, natural-looking finish depends on how you practice. When using a self-tanner, preparation, and follow-through lead to a perfect result. “Skin preparation is the key to a great tan and even coverage,” Alysa explains. “Make sure to exfoliate your skin before applying self-tanner. This will help create a nice base to apply your tanner evenly over your body.” Another one of her biggest tips following the initial application of the self-tanner is to properly moisturize the dry areas of your skin such as your elbows and your knees. The more moisturized your skin is, the longer your tan will remain.

Like any beauty product, ingredients play a huge role in the finished look. The next time you browse the shelves of a drugstore or beauty supply store in hopes of discovering your new go-to self-tanning product, take a quick look at what makes up the formula. DHA, for example, is a very dehydrating ingredient that is popular among self-tanners, as it is necessary for the skin to tan. “You want to make sure you pair it with aloe vera, jojoba seed oil, vitamin E, and sodium hyaluronate,” says Alysa. Now that you know the biggest tips and tricks behind achieving your self-tan, why not shop a few of our favorites? Keep scrolling to discover more self-tanners that have caught our eye.


The Best Self-Tanners for Melanated Skin

DOLCE GLOW Self-Tanning Mist

When asked what her favorite self-tanning products are, Alysa highlighted Dolce Glow’s Luce Clear Self-Tanning Mist and the Dolce Self-Tanning Mist for a darker, bronzed glow. Providing optimal 360º results, the easy-to-use sunless tanning mist evenly illuminates the skin.

Customer review: “This product makes me feel so flawless. I love how it gives me the right amount of coverage. It’s so easy to use and just a great product, actually the best product out there and I’ve used many. So do yourself a favor and make this purchase you won’t regret it!”

FENTY BEAUTY Body Sauce Body Luminizing Tint

Leave it to Rihanna to develop a subtle, illuminating body cream offering long-lasting blendable and buildable coverage. Its smooth-glide texture blends into the skin, accentuating your natural skin tone while adding a slight, wearable sparkling finish.

Customer review: “This is amazing! It gives such a beautiful glow and tint to the skin and doesn’t feel heavy or sticky at all. I am [shade] 385 in Fenty but I chose this shade to add a nice summer glow to my skin tone. This spreads very easily on the skin and has a nice subtle scent. It is truly transfer-resistant and long-wearing. I look forward to wearing this during the summertime!”

JERGENS Natural Glow Self Tanner Lotion

I’ve been a fan of this self-tanner lotion since I learned just how bronzed and healthy my skin could look with a product that enhances my natural shade. Nearly 2 years later, I still flock to this product whenever I’m looking to even out my tone, want a warm glow, or need natural-looking shimmer as a finishing touch to any look.

Customer review: “I love this lotion! It really works! I usually have pasty, dry legs, especially in the winter, and recently developed those small red dots (strawberry legs) and this lotion fixed all my problems! If you spread, it on evenly and let it dry completely before applying again it works great. I saw results after my third application. Will be ordering more and [using as] my daily lotion.”

L’ORÉAL Sublime Bronze Tinted Self-Tanning Lotion

This product has soared to the top of TikTok’s heavily populated #BlackGirlsTan hashtag as one of the go-to self-tanners that work miracles for deep skin tones. It’s not streaky, has no strong fragrance, and lasts for up to a week. For the best results, smooth the product evenly over the skin and remember to moisturize.

Customer review: “I have used a few different products, and this is by far the best. The color isn’t orange like other products I have used in the past and the dark color allows for even application without streaks. I didn’t expect to like it so much because it is much less expensive than other ones, but I love it!”

BONDI SANDS Aero Self Tanning Foam

When it comes to fast-drying tanning foam, Bondi Sands’ Aero Self-Tanning Foam is, by far, one of my favorites and, evidently, a favorite of many other dark-skinned people looking to add a little glow to their skin tone. Available in four natural-looking shades, the formula quickly absorbs into the skin for a long-lasting, sun-kissed finish.

Customer review: “I love this. It’s very buildable so if you just want a nice glow, apply it more sparingly. Go heavier with application if you want to be darker. I highly recommend getting a tanning mitt to avoid streaky hands. The mousse is lightweight and goes on smooth. I have not tried it on my face, so I cannot comment on that. Put lotion on dry spots like elbows, knees, and ankles and the palms of your hands before applying.”

ST. TROPEZ Self Tan Luxe Whipped Crème Mousse

Glow inside out with this cream-based self-tanning mouse by St. Tropez. Enriched with cutting-edge tan technology and skin-loving ingredients like niacinamide, vitamin E, and echinacea, this self-tanner ensures you’ll achieve an even, natural-looking glow.

Customer review: “First time trying St. Tropez Self-Tan Luxe Whipped Crème Mousse: it is beginner friendly; application is very easy and smoothly. Really like that is lightweight and had a subtle but nice scent. Left the skin feeling soft & hydrated; in my experience it didn’t feel sticky at all. And the final result is a very natural glowy tan look (not orange or patchy). Overall, a great experience and product to incorporate into your routine if you, like me, want the summer tan look avoiding sun exposure.”


Available in five gorgeous shades, Vita Liberata’s Body Blur offers its wearer a bronzed, smooth base for photo-finish skin. Instantly concealing and blurring uneven tones, textures, and dullness, this product also features light-reflecting technology for long-lasting radiance. Pro tip: When applying to the face or décolletage, blend out the product with a makeup brush.

Customer review: “I absolutely love this product! It makes my skin look smooth and glowy when applied. It is perfect for any occasion, and you will feel like a golden goddess while wearing it. While it doesn’t completely blur all imperfections on the skin, it still gives you a nice finish that will last for a few hours without having a lot of transferring.”

St. Tropez Self Tan Express Bronzing Mousse

Whether you’re new to the self-tanning game or are a self-professed veteran, this bronzing mousse has remained a favorite among users of all skin tones. Promising to tan the skin in one to three hours, it uses a no-fuss formula and advanced color technology that deepens in tone the longer it sits on the skin. My favorite part? It’s non-streaking and transfer-proof.

Customer review: “I’ve used this mousse for over 2 decades. It is the gold standard of self-tanning.  I’ve tried others along the way but always return to this one. It lasts for over a week if you exfoliate and moisturize. It’s a pretty hue to the skin and doesn’t look orange or some other odd color.  Best self-tanner out there. Purchase one.” 

BALI BODY Gradual Face Tan Hydrating Cream

The best way to describe this product is sunshine in a pot. This ultra-hydrating daily face moisturizer is infused with self-tan to nourish the skin while also gradually building a subtle, sun-kissed tan. It’s suitable for all skin types and tones, so you can count on this cream to add the perfect amount of warm color to the skin.

Customer review: “Obsessed! I never have any luck with face self-tanners, they always make me break out in a rash or pimples. I’m so incredibly happy to say this one does not. In fact, I find it makes my skin super glowy and smooth looking.”

JERGENS Natural Glow Instant Sun Sunless Tanning Mousse

I’ve saved another personal favorite for last. This product has been making the rounds on social media as a must-have product for anyone with a deep skin tone craving an even, illuminating tan. Jergens’s Natural Glow Instant Sun Sunless Tanning Mousse makes it possible with a streak-free and transfer-proof formula that offers an even and precise glow.

Customer review: “I’m usually not as big of a fan of the sunless tanning mouse but had fell in love with this product! It’s very light on your skin and leaves a nice glow, giving you that perfect sun-kissed look! It also has no smell, which is just amazing, unlike other brands I’ve tried. Applying it is very easy and it dries in only 60 seconds.”

TAN-LUXE The Face Illuminating Self-Tan Drops

Self-tan drops like these from Tan-Luxe are a smart way to create a natural-looking tan over time without losing your glow. Ideal for all skin types and tones, this tanning concentrate can be added to your moisturizer, serum, or face oil to combat uneven texture and tone.

Customer review: “Illuminating Tan Drops are a great option for those, like myself, looking for a customizable self-tanning solution. You can add anywhere from one to 12 drops to any of your moisturizers, depending on how deep you want your tan to be, to create a natural-looking and most importantly streak-free tan. Four to six drops give me a nice ‘base tan.’ To maintain the tan and enhance the glow, I also add one drop to my daytime moisturizer.”

BEAUTY BY EARTH Self Tanner Mousse

Beauty by Earth’s effective and easy-to-use self-tanner mousse is fast-absorbing and delivers a deep, natural bronze color to the skin in just a few hours. Multiple applications will deepen the tone, lending a sun-kissed and healthy-looking glow. For streak-free and even results, consider applying the product with a mitt.

Customer review: “I’ve been self-tanning for years now but wanted to try and find something more natural, so I found this after searching. I expected since it’s more natural it wouldn’t last or would barely make a difference for some reason. It actually gave me the perfect tan. I didn’t feel gross with it on, it actually smells nice! And I got in a hot tub the next day and the color didn’t really fade much at all! It hasn’t gotten splotchy either.”


Tips + Self Tanner Glow


i tested out a gradual self tanner for a week so you don’t have to #selftanner #selftanroutine

♬ Special – SZA

first time self tanning girlie! the @sttropeztan formula smells amazing, and I can’t wait to see how it develops on my skin #ad #glowwithconfidence #blackgirltanning

♬ original sound – kiaranlanier

Replying to @urihtycats hear me out

♬ Lo-Fi analog beat – Gloveity

I plan on looking like a fat, juicy rotisserie chicken all summer longggg✨🤎🫡

♬ original sound – Nami Iman

How Taylor Swift’s Makeup Survives Her 4-Hour Rain Shows

Plain and simple, the only thing more impressive than Taylor Swift’s voice is her makeup routine. Need proof? The singer-songwriter performed a 44-song setlist during a massive—and we mean massive—thunderstorm in Nashville earlier this month during her much-anticipated Eras Tour. (If you haven’t seen any of the videos from the show, you need to watch this.) Although the rain initially delayed the show, it didn’t have anything on Taylor’s makeup. Once the shelter-in-place weather advisory was lifted, Taylor performed for four hours in the downpour—all without her makeup running, smudging, or moving. 


Following the rain show, fans and beauty buffs alike have become consumed with finding out which products the superstar uses. Luckily, celebrity gossip account Deuxmoi took to social media to share a message that broke down Taylor’s (supposed) Eras makeup. Although Taylor has never come out and dropped her full makeup routine, we do know what her makeup artist likes to use on her, so there are a few products that have a high likelihood of being on her face during shows.

Ready to achieve a thunderstorm-proof beauty look? Keep reading to learn more about which makeup products Taylor just might be used to create her iconic on-stage beats.


The makeup products Taylor Swift reportedly wears on tour

FOXBOROUGH, MASSACHUSETTS – MAY 20: EDITORIAL USE ONLY Taylor Swift performs during The Eras Tour at Gillette Stadium on May 20, 2023 in Foxborough, Massachusetts. (Photo by TAS Rights Management/Getty Images)

PAT MCGRATH Sublime Perfection Hydrating Primer

Long-lasting makeup starts with a good primer. This Pat McGrath favorite is an ideal base for foundation since it hydrates, smoothes, and tones the skin. It’s made with hyaluronic acid and glycerin, which lock in moisture and keep skin looking soft and supple. It’s also formulated with cosmetic filler powder, which helps minimize and blur pores, fine lines, and imperfections. Thanks to its top-notch ingredients, this primer ensures makeup has a flawless, long-lasting finish.

PAT MCGRATH Sublime Perfection Foundation

This high-performance vegan foundation offers a natural, medium-coverage finish that looks gorgeous on all skin types. It’s offered in over 30 different shades, which means you can find the right match for your skin tone. Plus, it’s extremely buildable, so it can be as sheer or as full coverage as you prefer. One thing we like most about this foundation is that it leaves behind a luminous glow that makes skin look bright, healthy, and dewy.

PAT MCGRATH Sublime Perfection Setting Powder

To ensure foundation and concealer stay in place and don’t crease, it’s essential to use setting powder—and luckily, the Sublime Perfection Setting Powder is all you need. This finely milled translucent powder sets makeup and keeps it from running, smudging, and becoming oily. Its weightless texture mattifies the skin, minimizes shine, and blurs imperfections without caking or settling into fine lines.

PAT MCGRATH Sublime Perfection Blurring Under-Eye Setting Powder

Looking for an under-eye setting powder that won’t interfere with your concealer or eye makeup? Try this Pat McGrath bestseller. It’s specifically designed for setting and brightening the under-eye area without making the skin look dry or crepey. With a lightweight formula, it blurs fine lines, diminishes dark circles, and prevents creasing, all while providing a natural, soft-focus effect.

PAT MCGRATH Mothership VII Eyeshadow Palette

Looking for a stunning selection of highly pigmented, blendable eyeshadows? This palette is for you. It includes a range of 10 captivating shades, including shimmering metallics and romantic, velvety mattes. Feel free to get as creative as you want when creating eye makeup looks with this eyeshadow since the options are close to endless.

PAT MCGRATH Perma Precision Liquid Eyeliner

Achieve Taylor’s striking cat-eye with this waterproof eyeliner. It offers ultimate precision, allowing you to create bold eye makeup looks in no time. It lasts for 24 hours (including in torrential downpours) and is completely smudge-proof. The best part? It dries fast and leaves behind an inky, velvety opacity.

PAT MCGRATH LiquiLUST™ Legendary Wear Matte Lipstick

If there’s one thing we especially love about Taylor’s makeup, it’s her signature red lip. It’s bold, sexy, and undoubtedly stunning every time. This fan-favorite lipstick is made with a slew of hydrating ingredients that ensure lips don’t get chapped or dry. It offers bold pigmentation as well as 12 hours of smudge-proof staying power. Shop it in the shade Elson 4 to emulate Taylor’s iconic look.

PAT MCGRATH Skin Fetish Highlighter & Balm Duo

Make skin look like it’s glowing from within with the help of this highlighter and balm duo. It comes in two different shades—bronze and nude—allowing you to choose what kind of glow you want (either warmer or cooler). The highlighter works to reflect and refract light, while the balm nourishes skin and locks in moisture. Put it on your cheekbones, nose, and eyelids to make your features pop.


How To Make Your Makeup Last Longer

Now that you know which makeup products Taylor (reportedly) uses, it’s time to ensure they stay on your face as long as they stay on hers—rain or shine. Ahead, check out the top tips for how to make makeup last.

Step 1: Start With a Clean Canvas

Before doing anything, make sure your face is clean. Wash it with a gentle cleanser and apply moisturizer before putting on any makeup. This creates a smooth, fresh canvas for your products to layer on top of.

Step 2: Use a Primer

Primers create a solid base for your makeup to cling to. They can also blur pores, smooth out fine lines, and provide added hydration. The best tip when it comes to getting a primer is to choose one that suits your skin type (e.g., mattifying for oily skin or hydrating for dry skin).


Step 3: Opt for Long-Wear Formulas

When picking out makeup products, look for items that promise long-staying power, especially when it comes to foundation, concealer, mascara, and eyeliner. (Oftentimes these are waterproof makeup products.) Both waterproof and smudge-proof formulas are designed to withstand sweat, humidity, and oil, which helps ensure your makeup stays in place.

Step 4: Set with Powder

After applying foundation and concealer, set them with a light dusting of translucent powder. This helps to mattify the skin, minimize shine, and lock your makeup in place. If you really want your makeup to stay put, you can also bake your makeup.


Step 5: Layer Your Products

Applying makeup in thin layers helps it stick to the skin better and last longer. Be sure to let each layer of foundation or concealer dry before applying more on top of it.

Step 6: Use Setting Spray

Setting sprays are made to lock makeup in place and provide a natural, dewy finish. Once you’re done applying your makeup, mist a setting spray all over your face. You can also use a spritz of setting spray on your face after each layer of makeup if you really need it to stay.