How to LAST LONGER IN BED

Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research and then craft a story to answer as many as we can. This week we tapped Cheryl Fagan, sexpert and founder of On Top, to provide the steamy secret to standout stamina. She’s also responsible for deeply explaining holistic sexuality to our readers.

We know you’re antsy for the answer, so we’ll let her take it from here.

I Want to Last Longer in Bed. What Can I Do? 

“The answer to this question will differ from person to person. This question takes some self-inquiry. It’s not necessarily a matter of tricks and techniques you need to learn but getting real within and knowing what it is that you are expecting from the experience of sex.

Why do you want to last longer? Are you getting tired? Or bored? Is it because the pleasure is so intense you can’t get enough or is it that you think you ‘should be going for longer? This question needs to be considered from a biopsychosocial approach. There could be something going on hormonally or maybe medication is having an influence (I’d encourage seeing a medical professional rule this out). We want to consider some cultural myths or expectations that you may need to let go of. Are there interpersonal relationship issues? Do you feel safe? Do you know your sexual needs matter just as much as your partner’s? How are your self-esteem and sexual energy?

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We live in a culture that is constantly telling us that sex is about performance, but satisfying/nourishing/mind-blowing sex is so much deeper than that. It’s not just about lasting longer but being completely satisfied. So how can we help you find sexual satisfaction…

Without knowing all of the details, I’m going to approach this from a psychological perspective. What did I mean earlier when I said it’s not about tricks, but about self-awareness? Knowing your sexual inhibitions and how to work with them is the key to having the sex life you desire.

Sexual inhibitions can be conscious or subconscious blocks that we have to experience sexual desire or arousal. They can be a result of your upbringing, social conditioning, past experiences, and so on.

It’s not about more techniques or skills but lessening those inhibitions.

One aspect of being sexually empowered is knowing your ons and offs. What turns you on and what turns you off? List them. Consider your most memorable and mind-blowing sexual experience (if you don’t think you’ve had that—what is a fantasy?), and write down what you felt, smelled, saw, tasted, and heard. What was so good about it? Now think of a not-so-great sexual experience and answer those same questions. Don’t judge yourself—if you don’t like some positions, that’s OK, or if you like the lights a certain way, that’s OK. Once you have a better sense of this and can communicate that to yourself and then to your partner(s), you’re on the road to the sex you desire. Being able to honestly communicate about sex is one of the greatest determining factors of how enjoyable sex will be for you.

Once you understand your ons and offs better, act on that. Do the things that increase your arousal and limit the offs. When you’re so aroused, present in the moment, and prioritizing your pleasure and your partner’s pleasure, I am sure it will last as long as you both need for the satisfaction you’re after.”

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“HelloBeauties”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the interviewee only, and BeautyLeeBar does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

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SOS! My Makeup Is Pilling — How Can I Fix It?

Do you ever find that your foundation balls up on your skin after you apply your favorite sunscreen or face cream? Similar to when your knitwear has seen better days and small balls of fabric sit on the material, this is called pilling — and it’s the fastest way to ruin your skin-care and makeup in one fell swoop.

Pilling is one of the most frustrating things that can happen when applying your skincare and makeup, due to the fact it takes extra time to blend, correct, and can waste more of your expensive beauty products.

Makeup pilling is no fun, especially after you just applied a full face of makeup and your foundation starts sliding off in tiny pieces. Pilling occurs when two makeup or skin-care ingredients don’t mesh well together on your skin, and although there are ways to avoid this (more on that below), we wanted to know if there’s any way to salvage your full beat in this scenario. Ahead, we spoke with NYC-based makeup artist Mary Irwin to find out how.

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What Causes Pilling

When your skincare or makeup pills, it looks like flakes or globs of product on your skin.

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Pilling happens when products haven’t absorbed into the skin, whether due to:

🤍 the type of ingredient

🤍 the amount applied

🤍 the other products you’re using

🤍 the condition of your skin

🤍 The tools you are using to apply your skincare and makeup

With so many of us experimenting with multi-step skincare routines, the pilling struggle is all too real!

Here are some best tips if you’re dealing with this issue.

Can You Fix Makeup Pilling?

Irwin gets straight to the point: “Unfortunately, aside from taking a damp makeup sponge and trying to blend it in, there’s not much you can do besides take it off.” If your foundation begins to pill, wet a sponge (the L’Oréal Paris Infallible Blend Artist Foundation Blender is our fave) and tap it over the areas where it pilled off. Once you’ve blended it out, set it with a loose powder like the Maybelline New York Lasting Fix Banana Setting Powder and don’t touch it. “Don’t add anything cream or liquid over it after the fact.”

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WE know and understand that you don’t want to remove the makeup that you spent hours perfecting so for that to not happen, the first thing you want to make sure you’re doing is exfoliate on a regular basis.

To be clear, the little balls that form are composed of product, not dead skin. But it’s still important to maintain a good exfoliation routine, because it will help your products to absorb more effectively, rather than remaining on top of a surface layer of dead skin. 

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How to Avoid Pilling

Irwin recommends paying attention to the ingredients you’re placing on your skin to avoid pilling all together. “Use products that have a similar formula — silicone with silicone, water with water, etc.” When applying cream makeup products (which have the most tendency to pill), she recommends starting with thin layers and building them up slowly. “Also avoid layering cream over powder, because this can result in pilling too.”

The more you touch your skin, the more you disturb the products and encourage them to pill. It goes without saying that rubbing your face is a a big no-no, as this will only cause surface residue to bunch and roll up. Use light, patting motions to apply your products, and resist the urge to touch your face any more than absolutely necessary.

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Just give yourself plenty of time in between layers and after the final layer. That will ensure you’ve absorbed most of the beneficial ingredients.

Here are 3 more videos that can be helpful when it comes to pilling:

Have you experienced product pilling?
What has helped you to prevent it?

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Beauty Q and A: Why Is My Foundation Patchy?

Patchy foundation is a makeup lover’s worst nightmare — especially if you’ve spent a significant amount of time perfecting your beat. As it turns out, there are ways to completely avoid patchy makeup and foundation, and all it takes is hydration and the right makeup base. Ahead, we broke down how to keep patchy foundation at bay, plus how to fix it if it happens to you.

What Causes Patchy Foundation?

There are many reasons why your foundation might be patchy. The wrong formula of foundation, mixing products with ingredients that don’t match or dehydrated skin are all culprits. For example, mixing a silicone-based primer with a water-based foundation is going to separate on the skin because the ingredients don’t mesh well. How to know if your foundation or primer is silicone based? It can be tricky, but the most commonly listed silicones (you’ll nearly always find them at the top of the ingredients list) include cyclopentasiloxane, siloxane and dimethicone. Also, most people are not as oily as they think they are, and using ultra matte foundation on already dry skin is another recipe for a patchy face.

How to Avoid Patchy Foundation

When it comes to avoiding the patchy foundation phenomena, we suggest that you want to pay extra attention to the products you use, and make sure your skin is well hydrated and prepped for makeup. A good moisturizer, a primer that mixes well with foundation and setting the foundation will all help to make sure your makeup stays where you want it.

For this, we recommend beginning your routine with a hydrating moisturizer like the NYX Professional Makeup Bare With Me Cannabis Sativa Seed Oil Moisturizing Primer SPF 30. Next, apply a hydrating, gripping primer like the Tula Brighten Up Smoothing Gel Primer that will not only moisturize your skin, but it will also lock in foundation. Apply a water-based foundation on top, like the Urban Decay Stay Naked Lightweight Liquid Foundation

How to Fix Patchy Foundation

If the skin isn’t properly hydrated, it will draw the moisture from any product you apply on top of it; hence, your poor dehydrated skin will suck up all the water and emollients from your foundation, leaving you with small and unevenly dispersed splodges of color pigment. The moral of the story? Always make sure to apply an even layer of moisturizer over the skin before reaching for the foundation bottle.

Prepping the skin correctly before foundation is the true way to eradicate patchiness before it starts, but if your foundation is already patchy, here is another trick that can help, take a damp sponge and blend out the patchy spots.

More Primp Tips

If we neglect the exfoliation step within our skincare routines, it will likely result in our foundation applying unevenly, and gripping on to (and exaggerating) our dry patches and textural issues. Using a mild liquid exfoliator will help to keep dry patches at bay, and will keep the skin looking even and smooth.

Will you be taking any of these tips on board, or do you have any methods or tricks you’ve found helpful? Let us know!

Meet Tiana Musarra: An Influencer To Keep An Eye On

The Influencer world has completely evolved and transformed in ways none of us could have ever imagined. Today, one 42-minute “tell all” YouTube video can create drama heard all around the world. Vloggers are fighting and the internet is eating it up.

But it goes beyond petty feuds and fueling “tea accounts.” The opportunities that come from social media are endless. Just a few short years ago, it was almost unfathomable that you could make a living by being an Influencer, but here we are.

Tiana Musarra, a New York City native who currently resides in Miami. She started her YouTube channel in 2019 to share fitness tips and to showcase her style with brands who she was working with. One year later, she has more than 340,000 YouTube subscribers with over 30,353,346 views, and an Instagram follower count of more than 330,000.

Tiana is a 22-year-old positive upbeat Latina that continues to grow and strive while mixing beauty with self-worth, which has grown her channel in a positive light that keeps her supporters entertained which is impressive and admirable. She has been able to work with different brands because of this.

Read on to find out how Tiana’s life has evolved since launching her channel and the new ways she learned to connect with her subscribers.

Q1: How did you get into the influencer realm?

when I started making videos on YouTube I started using my Instagram more and being consistent led into that realm.

Q2: How did you get into modeling?

I did modeling when I was younger and was signed to an agency, but stopped for a while. When I started using social media more I started taking it more seriously.

Q3: What do you enjoy most about Modeling and YouTube?

Love being able to create, travel and work for myself.

Q4: Can you recall one unforgettable moment that happened on a photo shoot set?

Hmmm… probably walking my first runway at Miami Swim Week. I always wanted to do that so getting the opportunity to do it was awesome.

Q5: Do you have any beauty and skincare routine that you follow religiously? If so can you tell the viewers some tips on how to get beautiful clear skin like you!

Yes, I always put eye cream in the morning and at night no matter what. Best thing would be to drink a lot of water and always wash your face before bed. I also make sure I get facials twice a month at the Box Med Spa too. I’m obsessed with skin!

Q6: You are always positive and upbeat! What about your spiritual routine? How do you keep zen?

Wake up and say what I’m grateful for then pray. Throughout the day I pray and before bed I do the same ritual that I did in the morning. Of course, I go through some tough times but my faith gets me through them.
 

Q7: What have you learned from being around other beauty creators?

I’m not around many but what I learned is that you should always be yourself and do things you actually enjoy not just for money.

Q8: Define beauty in your own words?

Beauty to me is just loving the way God made you. Confidence is beauty.

Q9: What advice can you give to the younger generation who is interested in following your footsteps?

Be consistent, be yourself no matter what and ignore the negative people. If you let someone upset you on the internet in this life style you won’t make it far. You have to have thick skin.

Q10: What aspect of this artistry excites you the most?

Always having somewhere new to see and learn about. Also how it pushes me to come out of my comfort zone.

Q11: Do you have any upcoming events that we should watch out for?

I have a few things coming, like a new song that I wrote which is dropping very soon.

Q12: Speaking of music, heard you wrote a song called “Heaven”, which is beautiful by the way. Are we going to hear more music from you?

Thank you so much. Yes definitely, I have a new song dropping in May and some more cool stuff on the way.

Q13: Is there any woman who inspires you? Why? (In life, fashion, music, etc)

My mom. She used to be a model in Colombia and is always teaching me valuable things. Sofia Loren, because she is classy but still sexy at the same time. Kim Kardashion because she does what she wants and never worries about what other people think which admirable. She is smart, successful, and family oriented.

Q14: What are your plans for modeling and how are you preparing yourself for all the wonderful blessings?

I’d like to sign to an agency that feels right me. While that is in motion, I’m just making sure to stay busy and creative. Whatever God brings my way, I’m thankful for.

Q15: Tell us some fun facts about yourself that your supporters don’t know

Used to play the trumpet. People always laugh when I tell them that.

Q16: Are you in college? If so, what is your major?

Yes, I am. Almost done with my Bachelors Degree in Hospitality Management.

Q17: Describe your typical day to day life?

Wake up, pray, have coffee, work out, record a video, take photos, edit, do school work. If I still have time after all that, I’ll watch anime or write music.

Q18: What motivated you to start your own YouTube Channel and to start writing music?

For YouTube, a friend gave me some advice and pushed me to do it. And for music, I always wrote my feelings down in my notes or a book , and one day I was like I need to hear this sung. The song came to life and so from that day on I just never stopped.

Q19: Your supporters tune in for your style and fitness advice all the time. But, where do you get your daily inspiration from?

I get a lot of inspiration from women from back in the day like Sofia Loren. As well as Kim Kardashian-West, I love her style. As far as fitness goes, I always workout to be healthy and do feel good.

Q20: What would you say is your go-to fitness routine and meal prep?

I train lower body, upper body and cardio each 2x a week and I actually don’t do meal preps. Just try to get enough protein in the day and eat enough meals.

Q21: When was the turning point for you when you realized that your social media presence was shining brighter than ever before? And how did the newfound popularity transform your personal life and your professional?

I don’t consider there to be a real turning point because I don’t think I’m anywhere close to being where I want to be yet. But, what has been cool was when my videos hit over a million and when I would go to random places and people knew me. The way it transformed my life is that I realized you have to be really careful who you are around and who to trust.

Q22: Do you have any other interests/hobbies unrelated to fashion and fitness that you are also passionate about?

Love looking at art and listening/learning about music.

Q23: Being an Influencer comes with a lot of criticism, so how do you keep your faith alive?

I pray and talk to God about everything and go to church on Sundays. you have to remind yourself no matter what you do, people will have an opinion so you can’t worry about it. Just live your life.

Keep up with Tiana Musarra amazing work on her YouTube and on Instagram here!

Who would you like to see me interview for my next WOMEN WHO INSPIRE? Let me know in the comments below!

MORE WOMEN WHO INSPIRE:

WOMEN WHO INSPIRE: CHATTING WITH FITNESS GURU, MODEL & REALITY STAR JENNA COMPONO

JANELLE MUGHANNAM

JULIA ROSE

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