Non-Sexual Forms of INTIMACY

When we speak about intimacy, our minds tend to go directly to “sexual” intimacy. However, intimacy goes beyond the bedroom. There is more to intimacy than just sex and getting frisky. It’s connecting on the deepest level emotionally, vulnerably, energetically, and spiritually to others—not just a partner but friends, family, or someone else in your life.

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Some forms of non-sexual intimacy are:

Listening: One of our deepest needs and desires is to be heard. When a friend or your partner listens to you (truly listens!), they are:

· Investing in what you’re saying

· Showing they want to connect

· Interested in what you have to say

· Care about how you feel

When a person truly listens, they don’t seek distractions (e.g., sneaking a look at their phone). A person who is truly listening will have constant eye contact with you and hear without the need to interrupt or redirect the conversation. Listening is intimate and it is sexy (even if it’s in a platonic way).

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Compliments/Words of affirmation: Everyone loves to be complimented, and our serotonin skyrockets when we receive compliments or words of flattery. Compliments and words of affirmation let us feel worthy and good about ourselves. This feeling creates an intimacy between the person giving the compliment and the person receiving it.

Gift giving: It’s not necessarily about the gift. It’s about the fact that someone has thought about giving you a gift and take the time and energy to consider what the recipient would appreciate. Many of us have received gifts that are not quite up our alley (maybe a pair of dollar-store socks?). When we realize that the giver put thought into gifting us, even if it wasn’t something we liked, it creates deep intimacy and connection. Why? Because being thought of feels amazing, even if the gift itself isn’t the greatest. 

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Laughter, goofing around, and inside jokes: Laughter is incredible medicine for the soul. When we laugh with our friends, partners, or loved ones; when we play and goof around, drop the seriousness, and share inside jokes, intimacy is born. Life can be too heavy and serious sometimes but sharing laughter with loved ones or friends and having playful and silly moments infuses your connection with lightness and creates intimacy.

Sharing mutual interests: Sharing interests, or displaying an interest in what someone is reading, watching, doing, or listening to and how they feel about that interest, strengthens an intimate bond. Even if your interests are not necessarily shared, ask questions and show them that you’re interested in their interests because of how you feel about that person. Speak with your friends, your family, or your partner about their favorite music at the moment, the book they are reading, or the podcast they are listening to. Show an interest in their interests and you may surprise yourself and discover something you had not even thought to be interested in before!  

Affection:  Hugging and nonsexual physical touch increase serotonin, a neurotransmitter known as the “feel good” hormone. Serotonin helps us feel happy, calm, and confident, which in turn allows intimacy to deepen. Hugging and other forms of nonsexual touching also cause your brain to release oxytocin, which is also known as the “bonding hormone.” Bonding is intimacy. Whether you’re hugging a friend, a romantic interest, or a partner, know that it is boosting your intimacy within the connection.

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Quiet time: Believe it or not, just sitting in a pause between conversations with a friend or loved one is intimacy. Just being present in each other’s company without having to fill the silence shows that you are connected on a level that goes beyond words. Sitting in the silence of each other’s presence is true intimacy.

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7 THINGS You’re Probably Forgetting Before a Date

Modern dating is one of the single people circles of hell, and this is a hill we will die on. But since it’s a thing that many people do, us included, we thought we’d try to make the process a bit better by sharing some hard-won tips. Here, are seven things you’re probably forgetting before a date.

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3 good convo starters

Statistically speaking the conversation will, at some point, peter off into an awkward silence. Have a few things at the ready to help resuscitate it. 

An easy out

In case those convo starters don’t work. Or your date brings up NFTs. 

A razor

Raise your hand if you’re part of the “decided to forgo shaving before a date as a deterrent to sleeping with said date, but it didn’t stop you and now you’re in their bathroom using a questionable razor you found on the counter as quickly as possible, so they don’t think you’re pooping” crew. (JK, but not really.)

Tell someone where you are

Because ending up on an episode of Dateline is not the endgame here. 

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A phone that’s not at 10 percent battery 

A gentle reminder to charge your phone! 

Focus on whether or not you like them

Not whether or not they like you. 

Your chill

See above tip. Also, this is especially applicable on a first date—as clichéd as it is, try not to put so much pressure on the date.

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“BLB”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

Signs of  SMALL DICK ENERGY

Big dick energy—we all know that term (when someone’s presence just oozes with confidence). It’s hot and you either have it or you don’t. It’s not something you can fake. On the flip side, there is small dick energy (SDE). Which, yes, is the opposite: when someone acts like a tool out of insecurity issues. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with having insecurities, everyone has some level of them. It’s how you carry and cope with the lack of uncertainty that can make a person fall into the SDE club.  

Small dick energy is all flex with no skill or facts to back it up. Need some examples? We’ve got you with a list of habits the BeautyLeeBar team considers to be SDE. Disclaimer: it’s not just in men, women can have this type of energy too. 

Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.

When he has to tell you how XYZ is hitting him up non-stop (insecure, much?). 

When he talks about how much he’s worth (like his bank account). “I had a guy who kept telling me he was so rich and if I dated him I’d be able to travel in style. I was like, ‘Thanks. I can also just buy my first-class ticket. Byeeee.’” – BeautyLeeBar team member 

When he talks bad about his ex (he’ll do the same to you). 

When you ask a guy a serious question about the nature or future of your relationship and he deflects/doesn’t answer (be an adult and answer). 

When he ghosts you. Someone with BDE would tell you straight up that they aren’t interested because that’s the mature thing to do. An SDE person doesn’t have the balls to say it, they simply ignore and leave you in the dust. 

When he brags about literally anything but can never back it up. 

When he’s intimidated by your job or work ethic. “I had someone tell me, ‘I typically only date girls who don’t have jobs, and I feel like you work a lot.’” – BeautyLeeBar team member 

When he’s incredibly indecisive and changes his mind all the time, including how he feels about you. Stringing you along much? We’ve got no time for that. 

When he mansplains. Enough said. 

When he’s controlling. This one screams insecure and you should run, not walk, away from this relationship/person.

When he asks the price of items on the menu at a nice restaurant. Steer clear of a pricey place if it’s not in your budget. Nothing’s sexier than owning the fact that you need to save money, and making responsible spending decisions. If you’re trying to save, pick a cool spot that’s in your budget to avoid feeling uncomfortable and nervous about the bill.

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“Hello Beauties”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

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What Type of  EX ARE YOU?

Breakups come with a boatload of mixed feelings, from sadness to acceptance and in some cases even a sense of relief. No matter how you slice it, the end of a relationship is a time to reflect, reset your needs, and home in on finding your true happiness. How you perceive the breakup will also set the stage for the type of ex you’ll become. Will you hold a grudge? Will you let go and be able to remain friends? Ahead, we’re highlighting the common types of exes. Read on to find out which one fits your (ex) relationship situation.

The Friend

In this case, the breakup was most likely mutual. Maybe you both decided the relationship just wasn’t fulfilling, or a reasonable amount of time has passed to where you no longer harvest pain, negative feelings, or even memories. Being able to rebuild your friendship is the best-case scenario.

The Ghost

Everyone handles the end of a relationship differently. In this case, you may just feel like disappearing completely. Maybe your ex has moved on faster than you expected, or you love the idea of “out of sight, out of mind.” Regardless, you can run from a situation, but the pain will still be there when you get back.

The Over-analyzer

If you find yourself always replaying conversations and memories in your head, losing sleep rehashing things you or your ex could have done better, you may be an over-analyzer. The most important part of moving on is acceptance, so if you’re always anxious about what could have been, you may never move on. Trust that what’s meant for you will always find its way back, and leave it at that.

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The Lesson Learner

No two people are going to view their relationship the same, and that applies to a breakup as well. You’ve probably taken bits and pieces of the relationship and learned from them. Whether it’s mistakes or highlights, you try to view everything as a learning experience. In hindsight, you could’ve also taught your ex things they may carry into every relationship they may have.

The One That Got Away Mindset

This doesn’t always happen, but in many cases, you or your ex may regret how things ended. Whether it takes a new relationship to miss the previous one, or you both just needed space, you’ll never forget the love you had for each other. Maybe things didn’t end how you wanted, but you always hold hope you’ll find your way back to each other.

The Angry Mood

Being the angry, spiteful ex will drain you more than anything. Maybe you’re in pain, or you can’t stand the thought of your ex being happy without you, but a vindictive person will drown in their negativity. You will never be happy if you wish upon someone else’s downfall. Take the hurt and grow from it.

The Team Player

A team player is someone who may feel like they’re not strong enough to do life on their own without co-depending on another person. You may feel like you need them to reach your goals or success. Maybe you’re used to having someone constantly cheering you on, but at the end of the day, the only person you have to rely on is yourself. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you cannot reach any type of success without having that faith in yourself. Give yourself the validation you need.

Mikayla Hunt is editor-in-chief of PopGabble.com, featuring topics such as lifestyle, interviews, wellness, and fashion. In the last six years, she’s done extensive editorial work with major publications all over the country and currently works with brands in content creation. Mikayla’s work reflects her deep passion for words, people, and finding joy in every waking moment. Follow her on Instagram @_mikaylahunt_.