Woman on top sex position advice from men who share how to ride dick

Woman-on-top (or ‘Cowgirl’, or ‘The Rider’) is a classic sex position if you are a woman or have a vagina, and are sleeping with a man or someone with a penis (or someone wearing a strap-on). As most women and vagina-owners can’t orgasm through penetration alone, this position is great because you can get extra stimulation either through grinding your clitoris as you ride away, or manually stimulating your clit with your fingers/a partner’s fingers/a vibrator.

But, if you’re an over-thinker like me (this is amplified tenfold when naked and having sex), it’s hard to know exactly what to do when you’re up there. Do what feels good for you. But remember, the best sex happens when both partners are having the time of their lives. Here, some guys on Reddit give their tips for how to ride dick in a way that’s enjoyable for everyone involved. If you’re ever in doubt, remember the golden rule: talk about it and talk about it honestly and openly.


1. “I like when she gets on top and tries her best to make herself cum. It gets me so turned on to see her take command of her orgasmic destiny. This is also the most common way for my wife and me to cum together.” [via]

2. “Don’t bounce too high… speed isn’t always the best. Going slow. Also, getting the right angle is important. Ask which angle feels the best.” [via]

3. “Use my chest for leverage.” [via]

4. “Use your hips, not your legs. Also, getting into a squat, on your hands and feet, that’s extremely hot. And don’t forget to lean in and kiss us now and then.” [via]


5. “This might be overly general advice because it goes for everyone in most sex positions, but keep an eye on [your partner’s] reactions to what you’re doing. Both noises and facial expressions. If a particular speed, rhythm, or angle is working for them you should be able to see it in their face and possibly hear it.” [via]

6 .”Press their hands to your boobs while grinding them. It’s really hot!” [via]

7. “While it feels really good for you to just grind your hips on them while they’re inside, they generally need some extra movement to build through friction for them to get off. Also, the further you bounce up the higher the risk you bend the penis wrong and kill the erection.” [via]

8. “No matter what you think you look like, you don’t need to be self-conscious. We are loving it, and we think you look hot as hell.” [via]

9. “Don’t be self-conscious about what you look like, but seeing you grind and moan is hot. We love that shit. Speaking of grinding, I love it when she grinds on my dick more so than thrusting.” [via]

10. “Focus on getting yourself off. We’re just glad to be there.” [via]

11. “Don’t be afraid to be a little selfish when you’re on top. This is a position where you have more control. Use it to your advantage. If you want them to feel good, but a little vertical movement to it and allow their hands to roam.” [via]

12. “If you are riding someone, don’t try to lift off so far that just the tip is in you. In my experience, it is really hard to maintain that stopping point when both of y’all really get into it. Try to just lift off half his length in your enthusiasm you’ll probably get most of the way off him but the chance of going too far is reduced.” [via]

13. “Your best bet is: communicate better about what you both want.” [via]

14. “The best cowgirl I’ve ever had came from a girl who could salsa. The best feeling comes from amazing hip control. Smooth, powerful, rhythmic movements.” [via]

15. “Get on. Close your eyes if you need to, just lose yourself, vibrate back and forth as I guide your hips, and gush all over my cock. Also, if you are struggling with maneuverability issues during your first times together, reverse cowgirl is a great interim step, both physically and psychologically since eye contact isn’t a factor.” [via]


16. “You should also be honest with each other and not just yourself. Switching positions if you’re getting tired is better than carrying on until you literally can’t do it anymore and it just becomes a pathetic attempt to get to the finish line that fails miserably. We go from cowgirl to missionary, to sitting and back to cowgirl for the big finish. If you need a break, take one.” [via]

17. “If it’s uncomfortable or awkward for you chances are they’re not enjoying it. 50% of my pleasure comes from knowing my wife is having a good time and it’s easy to pick up when your partner isn’t enjoying it.” [via]

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Hot Sex Tips for WHEN YOU’RE ON TOP

This one is for the women who love a good ride on top. If that’s you, then you know the position can be anything but boring if you have the right moves in your ~mental~ sex manual. You may be thinking, wait, I just hop on and grind? There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you’re looking to spice it up and surprise your partner, then buckle up because we have some hot AF pointers for you. Read on to learn our tips for increasing the steam while you’re enjoying things from the top.

We did a little crowdsourcing among the team and our friends for a variety of tricks to add to your next sexy night. All anonymous, of course.

We’ll start simple with a reminder that deep eye contact while you’re on top can enhance the moment. Gaze into his eyes and give him a soft and seductive smile while you’re at it.

Find your hips and get comfortable with moving them around—pop it, bounce, do it all.

If you enjoy clit stimulation (meep, who doesn’t), tell him to lick his thumb and play a little DJ action with his fingers while you’re on him.

Put your hands on his shoulders and arch your back a bit while you’re bouncing on top.

Slowly slide him ~almost~ all the way out of you and pause for a second while the tip is just barely in you and then slide back down. You can do this one while you’re facing him or in reverse cowgirl.

If your hair is down, play with it and flip it around while you put his hands on your hips or chest. Whatever you prefer.

While you’re riding, give a little nipple pinch or neck grab (choke), and it’ll give the man the sense of female dominance.

Put one of your hands on his chest and lean your boobs into his face. This is sure to get him wild.

Keep your thrusts popping—softly, but you’ll know it’s right if you get the perfect little booty bounce. It should feel like you’re perfecting a yoga move or the art of twerking.

If you’re comfortable with gently choking, have him softly choke you and arch your back while he’s doing it to take it to the next level.

Put his hands on your butt or hips and squeeze them so he tightens his grip.

Incorporate a safe lube to keep things juicy.

Try edging with him.

While you’re gyrating, rub your clit against his pelvis so you receive outer stimulation while he’s in you. You can also use your fingers (or his) to play with your clit while you’re on top.

Tease it out by sliding back and forth on him a few times before you let him enter you.

Ride him reverse or even sideways and then look back at him and make eye contact.

If you’re flexible, bend all the ways back and place your hands by his knees to the point where you’re almost lying flat. This will give him quite the view.

While you’re in reverse, extend your legs so your feet are by his head and then slightly arch your back while you’re grinding on him. (Again, if you’re flexible. No need to pull a muscle.)




Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research and then craft a story to answer as many as we can. This week we tapped Cheryl Fagan, sexpert and founder of On Top, to provide the steamy secret to standout stamina. She’s also responsible for deeply explaining holistic sexuality to our readers.

We know you’re antsy for the answer, so we’ll let her take it from here.

I Want to Last Longer in Bed. What Can I Do? 

“The answer to this question will differ from person to person. This question takes some self-inquiry. It’s not necessarily a matter of tricks and techniques you need to learn but getting real within and knowing what it is that you are expecting from the experience of sex.

Why do you want to last longer? Are you getting tired? Or bored? Is it because the pleasure is so intense you can’t get enough or is it that you think you ‘should be going for longer? This question needs to be considered from a biopsychosocial approach. There could be something going on hormonally or maybe medication is having an influence (I’d encourage seeing a medical professional rule this out). We want to consider some cultural myths or expectations that you may need to let go of. Are there interpersonal relationship issues? Do you feel safe? Do you know your sexual needs matter just as much as your partner’s? How are your self-esteem and sexual energy?


We live in a culture that is constantly telling us that sex is about performance, but satisfying/nourishing/mind-blowing sex is so much deeper than that. It’s not just about lasting longer but being completely satisfied. So how can we help you find sexual satisfaction…

Without knowing all of the details, I’m going to approach this from a psychological perspective. What did I mean earlier when I said it’s not about tricks, but about self-awareness? Knowing your sexual inhibitions and how to work with them is the key to having the sex life you desire.

Sexual inhibitions can be conscious or subconscious blocks that we have to experience sexual desire or arousal. They can be a result of your upbringing, social conditioning, past experiences, and so on.

It’s not about more techniques or skills but lessening those inhibitions.

One aspect of being sexually empowered is knowing your ons and offs. What turns you on and what turns you off? List them. Consider your most memorable and mind-blowing sexual experience (if you don’t think you’ve had that—what is a fantasy?), and write down what you felt, smelled, saw, tasted, and heard. What was so good about it? Now think of a not-so-great sexual experience and answer those same questions. Don’t judge yourself—if you don’t like some positions, that’s OK, or if you like the lights a certain way, that’s OK. Once you have a better sense of this and can communicate that to yourself and then to your partner(s), you’re on the road to the sex you desire. Being able to honestly communicate about sex is one of the greatest determining factors of how enjoyable sex will be for you.

Once you understand your ons and offs better, act on that. Do the things that increase your arousal and limit the offs. When you’re so aroused, present in the moment, and prioritizing your pleasure and your partner’s pleasure, I am sure it will last as long as you both need for the satisfaction you’re after.”

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“HelloBeauties”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the interviewee only, and BeautyLeeBar does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

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Embracing Your KINKIER SIDE

No kink-shaming, we’re so past the days of (safe) sexual fantasies feeling taboo. Here’s the deal, it’s common (and normal) to have a little kink in you—how it’s defined and the level of it is different for everybody, of course.

If you enjoy rough foreplay or wild sex, there’s no need to have shame around it. You may not even realize you’re kinkier than the average person until you’re with a new partner, or, on the flip side, you may discover additional desires as you get older. It’s natural that as we mature and gain sexual experience, we learn what we like and want in the bedroom. 

First and foremost, when exploring the world of kink, the two most important things are communication and consent. So once you’re on the same page with your partner, here are some tips to incorporate kinky behavior in your sexual relationship.


Be expressive. 

Say exactly what you want or describe your fantasy to your partner. If you need some ideas, watch a movie or film with a tasteful and steamy sex scene. Or ask your close friends for some tips. Even something small like finding an unusual position could be considered kinky to some. Plus, it’s so hot to surprise your partner with a new move under the sheets (or wherever you prefer to get it on). 

Be open.

Keep the dialogue open with your partner. Even if you’re not 100% sure you want to try something, share your curiosity. If you say your vision out loud and have a conversation about it, you’ll feel more comfortable possibly exploring it the next time you’re hooking up. 

And be open when your partner shares their desires as well (given you’re comfortable with what they want to do). Try not to judge if it’s something you’re not used to. Instead, say “I’ve never done that, and I’ll have to think about if I want to go there.” As we mentioned earlier, everybody has different deeds that turn them on, and there’s no reason to make your partner feel weird for vocalizing them. Just kindly say you’re not into trying it. 


Set and define your limits. 

With any act under the BDSM family, it’s important to set hard and soft boundaries. Sexual scenarios that you’re open to exploring or curious about could fall under your soft boundaries list. Whereas anything you consider off-limits would be on your hard boundaries list. Also, be sure to pick a safe word before entering the rougher side of the kink. 

The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“Hello Beauties”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

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